Never underestimate the impact of stress in a relationship. You don't need a break-up or even a breakdown for stressful situations to affect your health, wealth and relationships.
Stress on its own isn't always a bad thing. A little anticipation, excitement or stimulation can also be sources of stress. These are not normally problematic for us.
The problems occur when there is too much stress. Fight, flight or freeze responses trigger hormone imbalances that can lead to poor health, or dis-ease which then affects our relationships, our career, our business, our social interactions and our vitality and wellbeing.
When stress becomes problematic, there are many different services where you can find support. Therapeutic interventions such as CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) or couples therapy can help.
Anyone can access counselling services with a referral from a GP but who knows how long the wait will be before you get to speak to someone. Unfortunately, stress in relationships isn't going to be at the top of the list.
If you need to resolve a stressful problem situation and revitalise your relationship your number one choice should be life coaching. The best way to relieve tension from stress in a relationship. Let's talk.
It is no surprise that people are experiencing stress in a relationship. Our families, our communities and our world is changing a faster pace than ever before. We already know that change can be challenging when it is unexpected and detrimental to our sense of wellbeing.
I heard a stage comic say things are looking up. Fuel is up, cost of living is up, taxes are up. People laughed, but is it really funny? Is humour just a coping mechanism for stress relief?
We dont really know what the full impact of the worldwide pandemic of 2019 to 2021. What we do know is that it wasn't only a virus that has caused devastating consequences. Restrictions, lockdown, travel bans, social distancing have all had an impact upon us. Perhaps it may appear that the impact was more disastrous for some than others. Even the fittest amongst us suffered as all the gyms closed. Never was the power of vitality and wellbeing more critical than during that horrendous period.
Business fell apart at the seams. People became temporally unemployed. Others had to completely change their working habits. Others still were forced to make huge investments in fittings or equipment that had never before been a thing. Services disappeared or became so difficult to engage with that at times it seemed as though everything was in utter chaos.
If you made it through in one piece, congratulations. You have a warrior spirit! If none of the above affected your relationship you did really well. But now we must pay for all the damage caused. Inflation could spiral at any moment. Mortgage rates will rise. Food bills will rise, and energy has already taken a chunk of our incomes. Are you ready for the next phase? Are you able to cope with the stress in your relationships?
There are many factors, events or situations which can cause stress in a relationship. They don't always have to be negative situations or events. In fact some positive life events can be just as stressful for both men and women.
Moving house is always depicted as a wonderful joyous occasion but uprooting your life and relocating is known to be one of the most stressful activities that we experience in life. What can go wrong often does.
Other traumatic events, such as a natural disasters, could mean having to uproot your life and moving due to extenuating circumstances and out of your control.
Losing a job, getting divorced, or facing life threatening illness can be stressful. Most people would recognise that these are troubling events and allow to express our sympathy and sorrow whilst deep inside we are grateful we didn't suffer the same.
Crimes can have significant consequences, as they are often completely unexpected. Loss of significant items of property through theft, sexual crimes such as rape, or violence against you or a loved one can leave deep emotional wounds. These can also have longer term consequences that increases stress in a relationship.
The point I am making here about what causes stress in a relationship is that it can be events which we chose or created just as easily as any unexpected situation or circumstance.
Take any of the top ten causes of stress in a relationship and throw in a worldwide economic crises or a global pandemic and imagine the impact this could have on your relationship. How did you get through twenty twenty? Who saw that coming? How are you managing to pick up the pieces? Check out my top ten and see if you can relate to any of these major causes of stress in a relationship:
Perhaps it's not surprising that getting fired from your work is stressful. But take a look at some of these common events, factors or situations that are known to cause stress for some people. How many can you relate to in your top thirty?
|✔ Meeting someone new ✔ Meeting an ex ✔ Parents Evenings ✔ Being late ✔ Arriving too early ✔ Social anxiety ✔ Traffic Queues ✔ Losing a job ✔ Getting promoted ✔ Finding a job ✔ Being too close to retirement ✔ Lacking confidence ✔ Going on holiday ✔ Being caller number nine in the queue ✔ Phone battery on 10%||✔ Christmas shopping ✔ Planning weddings ✔ Forgetting Anniversaries ✔ Moving house ✔ Having visitors ✔ DIY ✔ Being burgled ✔ Losing or misplacing stuff ✔ ✔ Blank spaces ✔ Finding directions ✔ Public transport ✔ The London Underground ✔ A Police car in your mirror ✔ Opening your energy bills|
Most would accept that men don't verbally express their feelings of sadness, guilt or depression as readily as women do. Men don't want to be seen to be weak or inadequate so it can be difficult for some to accept defeat.
One of the consequences is that "bottled emotions" can lead to physical symptoms. What this means is an unhealthy amount of cortisol, the stress hormone, is released into the body. With prolonged absorption long term damage can result. If you choose not to deal with relationship stress here's what might be just around the corner:
Research indicates that life expectancies for men who have divorced are lower than average. Moreover, the mental health of divorced men declined dramatically in some instances, with men tending to exhibit, more hostility, deeper depression, anger, aggressiveness and addiction years after a divorce.
The key is to deal with stress in a relationship, or it will deal with you.
Life coaching, NLP, hypnotherapy and a combination of all three can take you behind the veil and highlight emotional anchors that pull you down. Unlock the triggers which cause you most stress in a relationship and discover the power of emotional freedom.
What stops you achieving your highest goals is not the goal, but what you believe about yourself in relation to the goal. Limiting beliefs are unconscious bias against yourself and will keep you stuck. Optimising your belief systems in your favour could be all the difference you need to push beyond your comfort zones.
Do you recognise your core values in a relationship or even your self? You may say you value one thing, but behave in a way that prevents it. Do you ever feel that part of you wants one thing but another part wants to avoid or sabotage it? These are clues that you may be experiencing internal values conflicts.
Recognise the power of cause and effect. What is causing the most stress in your relationship? If your initial response is anything but you you are at effect. Taking total responsibility is about internalising the stress and identified the part within you which is creating it. You are the cause. If you created the problem, you can also overcome the solution.
This is the number one principle in life coaching nlp and hypnotherapy. Stress is often a symptom of losing focus on your ultimate outcome. Sometimes people set goals beyond their reach which creates the stress of failure to meet targets. Others set goals too small which also creates stress. Make your goals and your relationship goals inspiring, challenging but achievable and keep your eyes on the skies.
Do people like surprises? No. They only like surprises they want. A surprise spa break may sound like the perfect antidote to stress in a relationship, but coming home to an unexpected bill could really interrupt your peace of mind. Anticipating problems and dealing with them in advance will clear the space for an amazing long weekend at the spa.
Simple principle. Sometimes difficult application. Situations or events that are often the cause of major stress in a relationship started life as minor issues. Ignore minor issues at your peril, they may grow into major factors that overwhelm or consume your health, wealth or relationships. If you notice a dripping tap, turn it off or your vitality could be going down the drain.
Learn the skills, get the experience, reflect and seek feedback. If you do this, you will succeed. Even a tiny improvement on day one can transform your world by day 365 when you understand the principle of compounding. Even small steps can become a giant leap from where you are now, in time.
Marketers for a particular sports brand already know this, dont they? To achieve a stress free relationship you must first decide that you want it. Once you make that decision, do what it takes. Even having the goal will be stressful, but it will be worth it.
I hope you have some food for thought about how to deal with stress in a relationship. even if you can just let go of some issues that you thought were about something else but just needed a rethink, you will clear the space for greater alignment and connection.
May all your surprises be good ones!
To Your Success!
Relationship Breakthrough Coach provides life coaching in Mossley, Tameside, Uppermill, Saddleworth, and all surrounding areas. Sessions are available for men, women and couples who are ready to transform their health wealth and relationships.
Life coaching is a journey of self discovery. Your journey starts with your next step. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the next step. The power of life coaching will unlock your personal power to overcome obstacles that show up while you get to work on your dreams.
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