How do you save a relationship when the storm is whirling all around you? Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain.
Do you ever get that feeling like all hell is breaking loose in you Relationship? Relationship breakdowns or relationship beak ups don't need bullets but they can still knock you from your feet just the same.
In this page you will find inspiration from song lyrics, poetry and more importantly life coaching questions for overcoming the obstacles of a relationship breakdown.
I remember hearing the inspirational words of Rocky Balboa
"Its not how hard you hit its how hard you can get hit, but then get back on your feet and continue the fight. Thats how winning is done."
He wasn't just talking about boxing was he?
Have you ever felt like you were knocked to the canvas in a relationship?
How did you get yourself back on your feet?
Some people find power in taking a man down to his knees but the real power when a man is down is bringing him back to his feet.
Before you try to save a relationship have you actually considered what it takes to make a relationship work?
Relationships should be where you go to give, not to get. Overcoming the obstacles to love is the most heroic journey someone will take because their focus will never be on themselves.
When relationship problems get the better of you you need to focus upon what is going on on the inside first. You need to work out where your needs are being met, but more importantly how you are meeting the needs of your partner.
You need trust in a relationship. Without it you or your partner will be tormented with insecurity.
You need compromise in a relationship. Although in truth it shouldn't feel like compromise. You prune that which you no longer need to ensure the rose blossoms again and again.
Perhaps you never fully considered what your expectations in a relationship were before you got into one. When would now be a great time to get some clarity in your thinking?
You need to recognise the power of moments to shape your destiny.
The opposite of these could be red flags in a relationship. You may be at a crossroads or challenged to make a decision that can literally change your life. You never planned to be at the point of needing to save a relationship but what do you do now?
Should I stay or should I go now?
What are your relationship goals?
Understanding relationship challenges can come from any area of your life. That is why the Wheel of Life Coaching tool can be so effective. It will help you visualise where the challenges are coming from. Just knowing what is out of balance in your own world will not save a relationship but taking the right action might.
Remember the cabin crew safety advice presentation? Put your own oxygen mask on first before reaching out to help others put theirs on. There is nothing selfish about this. In fact it is this kind of thinking that means you are able to help others instead of waiting for someone to save you. You become part of the solution instead of the problem.
Relationship problems aren't only about what goes on between you and your partner. The outer level challenges can be just symptoms of powerful currents beneath the surface.
Whats really going on underneath the surface?
When you identify a challenge in your relationship you get curious. Not about your partner. They are only responding to the scents, sights, sounds and feelings you are creating around them. How they process those sensory inputs is up to them. If it isn't their flavour they wont hang around for desert.
All you can focus upon, all you can change is yourself. When I first sit down with a client to discuss an area where they would like a breakthrough we set up the life audit and take a detailed personal history in relation to the route map, or strategy to help them save a relationship.
It often amazes me how shining a light on a relationship problems really changes the landscape for the client. Sometimes the life audit by itself leads to significant "Aha" moments for the client, but this is just the beginning.
We must begin with an important caveat. Whatever happens during the period of life coaching, there is no guarantee that we will save a relationship. But you will create breakthroughs that will dramatically change your outcome when your relationship ends.
Team sports can be challenging after having a player sent from the field. On the other hand playing with one down can lead to even greater determination for the rest of the team.
Playing as a team when one of the players focus is off the game can be even more devastating. Isn't this the same in all area's of your life?
Your business, career, family life, social life, in fact every aspect of life can be devastatingly affected when your focus is off or someone else isn't pulling their weight. It's worse than playing with one down.
It becomes frustrating for the team. Performance suffers. Attitudes change. Emotions change. Mistakes happen.
Dealing with problems in a relationship or even a break up can do that to you.
Saving a relationship can be challenging. Relationships take investment in effort, time and determination to keep things above the resurface.
If it feels like you are sinking, take your time. Notice what is changing in you and what you must pay more attention to in order to resurface.
If you hit bottom, remember to check your gauges every so often. You don't want to run out of air just before you are ready to break the surface. You also don't want to rush back to the top and end up with the bends and stuck in a hyperbaric chamber!
This is where a life coach can make all the difference. A team without a coach is just a bunch of people hanging out. A coach pulls the team together. A coach recognises where the strengths are. Highlights skills to practice and helps the team build on performance after performance. A coach doesn't focus on the game. That is the players job.
The life coach focuses on the season to get the couple where they want to be. Just shifting your focus from relationship problems in the moment to creating the most beautiful love story ever told can be the key to save a relationship. In fact, this is the best way to transform a relationship breakdown or break up into a breakthrough.
Taking a life audit with a life coach can lead you to the point of noticing unconscious micro habits and behaviours that you developed a life time ago that no longer serve the purpose you created them for. That could be your doorway to a relationship breakthrough.
Do you feel apprehensive?
Maybe nervous or shy?
Do you feel like you have lost a reputation?
Can you face it?
You have to stand by decisions that you make now. The decisions you make today will form the memories you recall tomorrow. Make sure they are memories that will lift you up and remind you of your courage strength, and determination, not your desperation. Make sure that your decisions are aligned with your true north, your personal values and you will stand strong.
Do you want to be the person who gets to look back over the season and see the rewards of the investment time and effort you put in.
This means you have to be careful what you wish for, or you might just get it. It doesn't matter what thoughts you may be thinking. Thoughts of anger or revenge are just as easily manifested as thoughts of peace, love and harmony. It's up to you to choose your path.
I pray that you and your partner find the peace and harmony you need to save a relationship.
Just remember that your prayers will still be answered, however you create and rehearse them.
Now its up to you. Can you save your relationship?
To Your Success!
Relationship Breakthrough Coach provides life coaching in Mossley, Tameside, Uppermill, Saddleworth, and all surrounding areas. Sessions are available for men, women and couples who are ready to transform their health wealth and relationships.
Life coaching is a journey of self discovery. Your journey starts with the next step. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the next step.
The power of life coaching will unlock your personal power to overcome obstacles that show up while you get to work on your dreams.
I sincerely hope you find what you were looking for.