Suffering relationship abuse can shake your identity to its core. It can leave you feeling vulnerable, lost and alone. It can leave you ashamed that you even allowed it to happen to you.
Finding the courage to ask for help is the first crucial step. Hopefully a friend, or relative will be all you need to end the suffering.
Domestic violence is a label given to all manner of cruel and disempowering behaviours towards a partner or family member. It can be different for everyone. It can be the difference between life and death which is why it is absolutely critical to recognise the signs as soon as possible. The sooner you recognise that you are a victim in an abusive relationship the sooner you can take appropriate steps to escape that relationship.
Life coaching is probably not the first thing on your mind. But did you know that research shows that people who employ a life coach become more optimistic? It could change your world. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Hopefully you will not need to resort to the police or other emergency services for help.
Relationship abuse comes in many disguises. Some people suffer physical abuse o threats of violence from their partner. Others may suffer sexual abuse, emotional abuse and even financial abuse. Some of these may be obvious to others despite the efforts that people will go to keep the abuse hidden. Even the victims themselves.
If you believe you are a victim of relationship abuse what will you do about it?
How many times will you let a partner physically assault you?
How long will you tolerate being financially controlled and manipulated?
How many times will you tolerate verbal abuse?
How many threats will you have to hear before you realise the risk?
How long will it take for you to ask for help?
There are many manipulative controlling ways in which an abuser can show up in a relationship.
Can you spot them, and do you have any idea how powerfully coercive they can be?
The truth is everyone thinks they could spot relationship abuse a mile away. No one thinks it will happen to them. Most people think they would never allow a partner to hit them. At least not twice. Yet, statistics show that it can take more than thirty incidents of violent behaviour before a person will consider reporting domestic violence to the police. Think about that.
Is life coaching an option for you or do you need additional support before you get to that stage?
Life coaching could help you set new and exciting goals for getting your life back on track after escaping relationship abuse.
Life coaching could help heal the wounds and reclaim your true identity
Life coaching could be the launchpad to soar again. Become a Survivor Of Abuse Reborn!
There will be a breaking point in the relationship. A point where the abuse becomes too much to bear. A point when you will no longer tolerate the behaviour. This is the leverage point you need to achieve to take action.
You can use this leverage to your advantage to survive relationship abuse.
Most people don't get into a relationship with a partner under the assumption that it will end in abuse. But, the problem with most people is that their tolerance level is set on a wide scale. All too often the tipping point is way in the distance. The tipping point is the furthest thing from the mind.
One end of the scale of relationship abuse is fatal assault. An interesting statistic you may wish to consider is that 7 out of 10 homicides occur within a relationship setting.
Where on the scale do you say “Enough is enough!”?
You can decide to end the violence today. You can make a decision to reclaim your life, free from abuse.
Some people suffering relationship abuse live their life thinking they have already lost it.
My wish for you is that you make that decision to live again, to seek support, to become liberated from your shackles.
If your relationship abuse persists, you are a survivor. If you decide to take back your life you are a survivor, reborn!
My question for you is, what will you become?
The emotional damage of relationship abuse will often be more painful, and more persistent than any physical wound because the impact runs much deeper. In Buddhism this is referred to as a "second arrow" which you can read about when you are ready to embrace the healing Power of Forgiveness
The consequences of abuse are long term. Whilst a bruise will heal, emotions will sit just beneath the surface. Your emotions also control your behaviours which means a victim of domestic violence can feel isolated, ashamed, unworthy, and even guilty or even responsible in some way.
They will often feel fear and therefore may even try to cover up the situation, to stop those awkward questions from well meaning friends and family. In other words. They will often cut themselves off from their own support network. Sometimes a completely independent third party can really make a difference. A third party such as a professional life coach. If you can recognise the signs and take action early, you may be able to avoid needing to call the police.
If you are already involved with the police my plea to you is that you refer yourself for counselling, or even ask for a domestic abuse advocate. If there are court cases, or court orders needed to protect you and your children it may not be time to think about life coaching services just yet. I will still be here, when you are ready.
Relationship Abuse occur's in cycles, known as the Cycle of Abuse or the Cycle of Domestic Violence.
Research has shown that women who are assaulted by their partners will not involve the law enforcement agencies until around the 34th occasion. In order for abusive relationships to "flourish" there has to be certain ingredients present.
Find out how betrayal can be seen as a bond, how you can spot it, and take steps to eliminate the cycle of abuse from your life.
How would you respond to abuse in a relationship?
Manipulative behaviour patterns are signs of relationship abuse. What would you do to survive?
This page will help you recognise the different types of relationship abuse. There are many relationship abuse signs, but how do you spot them and differentiate between normal phases of a relationship?
Identify the three key roles that appear. Notice how the roles can revolve that actually helps sustain an abusive relationship. Observe which role is yours most often. Discover how you can choose to continue your role play or stop the abuse.
This page will help you choose your response to red flags of relationship abuse.
I hope you have found something here that will help you make a decision for your future. I hope you decide to put relationship abuse in the past.
There are many routes available and many organisations that you could reach out to if your family and friends are not able.
Use leverage to your advantage. Reduce your tolerance level and take at least some action today to achieve your freedom. Take at least one action to reclaiming your life and the kind of loving relationships you desire.
To Your Success!
Relationship Breakthrough Coach provides life coaching in Mossley, Tameside, Uppermill, Saddleworth, and all surrounding areas. Sessions are available for men, women and couples who are ready to transform their health wealth and relationships.
Life coaching is a journey of self discovery. Your journey starts with your next step. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the next step. The power of life coaching will unlock your personal power to overcome obstacles that show up while you get to work on your dreams.
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