Recognising relationship abuse for the first time can be a blessing and a curse. It can shake your identity to its core. It can leave you feeling vulnerable, lost and alone. It can leave you ashamed that you even allowed it to happen. It will change your world. Do it anyway. Domestic abuse is much more than violence. It is just a label given to all manner of cruel and disempowering behaviours. The truth is, you have no idea what the label of abuse means until you experience it. It can be different for everyone. It can be the difference between life and death.
Relationship Abuse come's in many forms, from the obvious but frequently hidden physical abuse or violence, through sexual abuse, emotional abuse and even financial abuse.
There are many manipulative controlling ways in which an abuser can show up in a relationship. Can you spot them, and do you have any idea how powerfully coercive they can be?
The truth is everyone thinks they could spot it a mile away. No one thinks it will happen to them. No one thinks they would allow anyone to hit them. At least not twice. Yet, statistics show that it can take more than thirty incidents of violent behaviour before a person will consider reporting domestic violence to the police. Think about that.
The emotional damage will be more painful, and more persistant than any physical assault because the impact is much deeper. The consequences are long term. Whilst a bruise will heal, emotions will sit just beneath the surface. The emotions control your behaviours which means the victim of domestic violence can feel isolated, ashamed, unworthy, and even guilty or responsible in some way. They will often feel fear and therefore may even try to cover up the situation, to stop those awkward questions from well meaning friends and family. In other words. They will often shun their very own support network.
There will be a breaking point however, a point where the balance tips too far. This is your leverage point and you can use this to your advantage if you choose. On the other hand the breaking can be fatal. The other interesting statistic is that 7 out of 10 homicides occur within a relationship setting.
Where is the point where the you say “Enough is enough?” Decide to end the violence today. That decision can mean you take your life back, or in some cases, you take your own life.
Some may actually think they have already lost their life.
My wish for you is that you make that decision to live again, to accept support, to become liberated from your relationship prison. If your relationship abuse persists, you are a survivor. If you decide to take back your life you are a survivor, reborn! My question to then is, what will you become?
Relationship Abuse occur's in cycles. Research has shown that women who are assaulted by their partners will not involve the law enforcement agencies until around the 34th occasion. In order for abusive relationships to "flourish" there has to be certain ingredients present.
Find out how betrayal can be seen as a bond, how you can spot it, and take steps to eliminate the cycle of abuse from your life.
There are signs that you may be in an abusive relationship, but how do you tell the difference? Identify the three key roles that appear. Notice how the roles can revolve that actually helps sustain an abusive relationship. Observe which role is yours most often. Discover how you can choose to continue your role play or stop the abuse.
Support can come from many sources. Close friends, family, neighbours. Then you have your wider community. Who you turn to for support should be clear from the levels of abuse you encounter. If you or your family are in any risk of physical harm, then you should involve the emergency services first. Who is there to help you pick up the pieces afterwards?
What do you do if you recognise that your relationship is placing you in danger? Someone you trusted, someone you loved is abusing you, and the fear is getting worse? You need time to organise, time to plan, time to execute your exit strategy. So find out what you can do in the mean time?
Embarking upon a life coaching journey with the Relationship Breakthrough Coach is a journey of self discovery.
The power of life coaching is not about power over you but about harnessing the personal power within you to overcome the hurdles that show up while you get to work on your dreams.
Every journey starts with the next step. Register your interest in a free coaching consultation now.
You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step.
Hope you found your visit to the Relationship Breakthrough Coach of value today. Did you find what you are looking for?
I am adding new content all the time but if you have any idea's or topics you would really love to see here, get in touch and let me know.
In the meantime here are more great pages dedicated to transforming your relationship breakdown or break up into a breakthrough.