The power of words to enhance or inspire your success in relationships or any other area of your life must not be underestimated. Some say words can be more powerful than the sword.
The use language to communicate has transformed our experience of being human. We have art forms such as poetry, song and literature. We have direct communication in organisation to lead workers and persuade customers.
We also see words strike fear in others in our legal or medical establishments. Medical words like "diagnosis" or "prognosis" or "stable" can be teryfing. Legal words like "indictment" or "summons" can be equally challenging
Words are like scalpels. In the hands of a skilled surgeon the scalpel can create life saving miracles. In the hands of a gang member a scalpel is a deadly weapon. In the hands of a professional life coach words can be inspiring, challenging and even life changing!
In this page I am inviting you to explore how words can shape and form your relationships, your success, and your life.
My wish is for you to find the power of inspiration, strength, direction, focus, gratitude, or even forgiveness within these words.
Words are powerful. Words have the power to heal and they can also hurt.
You must have heard the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"
Best selling author Don Miguel Ruiz attributes being impeccable with your words as one of the "The Four Agreements".
Words are keys to your heart and mind. The way we spin words into sentences and paragraphs can transport the reader to the far reaches of the galaxy. Or place them on a fancy yacht cruising around the Caribbean islands.
The words of the poet can transfix the audience. Rumi would be one of my go to favourites for inspiration and to reconnect with your soul.
"Your acts of kindness are iridescent wings of divine love, which linger and continue to uplift others long after your sharing" - Rumi
These words mean so much more when placed together with such exquisite precision. Aristotle is oft said to have coined the phrase the "whole is greater than the sum of the parts." These few words from Rumi absolutely live up to this, in my humble opinion.
Please share the power of words so that they may enhance not only your relationship's but your friends and families too.
Sometimes, one word is enough. Don't under estimate the power of "Yes!" or "No!"
Sometimes you need a little more than just the power of words by themselves which I will expand upon further later in this article.
Just one word can stop a person in their tracks and transform their entire universe. For many people that word could be "cancer," or "terminal." Even "divorce," or "respondent" can strike fear in some people.
These are often words we might hear in specific settings but even under our own roof within our own relationships we can hurt each other with careless sentences and insensitive comments. The power of any communication is not in the sender but in the receiver. How you say something can transform the meaning of words.
What amazes me is the many ways we cause unnecessary suffering with our words. Sarcasm. Banter. Pokes. Put downs. Insult. Offence. Outrage. Abuse.
In fact, if you search the internet for words related to "insult" alone you will find nearly a hundred related words. I don't know about you but a comedian on a stage can get away with murder with their words but should always come with a health warning "don't try this at home!" I sometimes wonder how many actually take notice of those words.
When the use of destructive words is persistent there could be worse behaviour backing them up. (Follow this link for more about relationship abuse.) When that abuse is directed towards you it can trigger a response that starts a slippery slope. It will always end in tears. Yours or theirs. so don't entertain abusive destructive language.
"The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you." - John E. Southard
We are often at our worst when faced with challenging situations, or when we feel under attack. I refer to the "red mist" which can lead us directly into trouble (see The Power of Anger for more) if we aren't careful.
Even in the throws of breaking up you still have capacity to be loving toward the other person. It doesn't mean you are still "In Love" with them, it simply means you care about your future and theirs.
Your ex-relationship can be transformed with the right words and right mindset. Carrying anger towards your ex is like drinking poison and expecting them to suffer. It is much more rewarding to grace them with forgiveness, and clear your energetic body of all negativity toward them. (More about the Power of Forgiveness here) Choose your words wisely and retain your dignity and grace.
"Be happy, no matter what others may be doing. Practice feeling good, despite them. And before you know it, you'll begin to love them all, because the only reason you don't love them, is that you're using them as your excuse to not feel good." - Esther Hicks
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." - E.M. Forster
What power is in these simple words? Would the caterpillar wish to always be a caterpillar? Why should you?
Love yourself in all you do but allow no word of chastisement, put down, or personal attack to ever hurt you. As a child I was often told "Sticks and stones may break bones but words should never harm me." How misguided was I in buying into this story. Words have cut me down and spun me around and left me speechless. And often times, it has been the very words I used privately to myself.
Have you been mistreating your "Self" with unkind words?
Practice by using the power of kind words to yourself instead of beating yourself up all the time. Meditate on positive words. Practice cultivating the power of loving kindness towards yourself and others.
When you use affirmations, or incantations, you are attracting the positive statements into your life whilst at the same time drowning out all the negative self-talk.
"Feed your faith and your doubts will starve to death." - Amy Beals Carter
Day by day, develop a bank of positive words that you say to empower yourself in a mantra like fashion. It will transform your relationship with yourself. It can build confidence, ease stress, reduce anxiety and improve outcomes. It wont mean you win every time, but you will feel a million times better if you lose, occasionally.
If you decide that life coaching could be a fit for you, such habits could be a part of the actions, or strategy you give for yourself.
You may have heard or even read Dr Wayne Dyers Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life, but are you aware of the power of words to change your thoughts?
Your words hold the power to build or destroy relationships. Your words hold the power to gain support and gain enemies.The words you use with yourself hold the power to heal and transform, or cripple you.
Practice the attitude of gratitude daily, it will eliminate your fears, it will ease stress, and it will bring you back into balance. When your words relate to lack or pain or hurt and blame notice the impact in your body. When you switch those words to healing, peace, joy, and abundance your mind will change your experience.
Practice. Practice. Practice.
I always believed the line that "Practice makes perfect" until I heard a brilliant guitar teacher say "practice makes permanent!" Just that one word of difference meant a world of difference. It was like a light bulb moment. How you behave is a result of everything you have ever practiced. Sloppy practice delivers sloppy results. Isn't that true? Refine your practice. Slow down to get it right every time. Every time your practice is bang on, so will the results that follow.
This is true of your words. Practice using positive empowering words.
Whatever you want to achieve in life, in your career, your health, and your relationships, focus is key. And not just in the beginning. You must know your outcome and maintain a progressive course toward it.
There will always be reasons or excuses why you don't do something. The internal critic can be loudest of them all. If you are able to quieten that voice of doubt and replace it with empowering words of encouragement, inspiration and support why wouldn't you? I really encourage you to play full out with this concept. The rewards will speak for themselves.
You should always give 100%, unless you are giving blood!
Henry Ford suggested, "whether you believe you can, or believe you cant, you are probably right." Choose to be positive thinking and utilise the power of words for your favour rather than your downfall.
“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve” - Napoleon Hill
“There are two things to aim for in life; first get what you want, and after that, enjoy it” - Logan Pearsall Smith
Here is the small print: You must take action! You cant just sit there saying "I already know all this." Even if you have heard it before and you are still stuck, you haven't applied at the level you need to change your life for the better. Thats where professional life coaching can help you transform your current situation into a breakthrough!
Anyone who ever achieved an incredible outcome through the power of life coaching did not achieve it because the life coach drew up detailed plans and and gave a motivational speech. They did it because they decided what they wanted and took each and every step to get it!
“Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do” - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
What if you know the words to say but it still falls on deaf ears?
There is one important fact that I have left out until now. The power of words is not just what you say, but how you say it. How do we know this is true? Just think about an actor/actress giving the performance of their life. How did they do it? They assume the emotion of the words and felt it! Then they delivered so the audience felt it too.
Emotion drives motion which drives emotion.
In NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and life coaching I refer to this as "getting in state"
It is possible to evoke specific states to enhance your performance. If you want more confidence then your mantra should be something like
"I am unstoppable confidence"
It would be difficult to get in state while slouching in a chair. Stand up tall, put on your cape and proclaim in the voice of the most powerful person you know and your experience will be energised! You will be putting the Law of Attraction to work in your favour.
Research studies on communication have identified that the power of communication is not only the words. In fact the actual words are only attributed to 7% of the impact. 38% is attributed to tonality. The remaining 55% is attributed to physicality or posture.
Now you know this, you can apply it, with purpose!
Now you may see the sense in sales and marketing tips like "Smile and Dial" or "fake it till you make it" The tonality and body language is more important. Go ahead, win your own Oscar award for the performance of your lifetime.
“Luck is the marriage of preparation and opportunity” - Chinese Proverb
How do you set up your day for success? What tools do you currently use? For example do yo have a to-do list? What if it became a To-Win list? Exactly the same thing, except just one word changes the mindset.
"Thousands of candles can be lit from a single one, and its life will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared." – Buddha
Do you have problems to tackle, or challenges to keep you growing?
Does your job suck, or have you just been sucking at the nipple because you couldn't find the motivation to do something about it?
Look at the language you use both internally and externally. Mind your P's and Q's, especially when you are talking to your Self. Be impeccable with your words. Because you know the power of words to heal and hurt.
Talk about things that are important to you. Raise your vibrational energy by switching off the news and focusing internally. Learn about your core values and discuss ways to attract them into your life.
"Most people struggle with life balance simply because they haven't paid the price to decide what is really important to them" - Stephen Covey
I will leave you with this beautiful quote from the Bible:
"One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple."
- Psalm 27:4 English Standard Version (ESV)
To Your Success!
Relationship Breakthrough Coach provides life coaching for men, women and couples in Mossley, Tameside, Uppermill, Saddleworth, and all surrounding areas. I also work with english speaking international clients via Skype and Zoom.
Life coaching is a journey of self discovery. Your journey starts with your next step. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the next step. The power of life coaching will unlock your personal power to overcome obstacles that show up while you get to work on your dreams.
I sincerely hope you found what you were looking for.
I am adding new content all the time but if you have any idea's or topics you would like to see, get in touch and let me know.
Click on the image to visit the contact me page:
In the meantime here are more great pages dedicated to transforming your relationship breakdown or break up into a breakthrough: