Discover how the power of forgiveness can transform a relationship breakdown or break up into a breakthrough!
Learning about forgiveness is one of the major keys to a healthy relationship and often forms a major part of my life coaching programs.
The true power is really experienced in the weight of energetic emotional energy that we carry around like baggage. When you are able to forgive you feel the weight lifting instantly, leaving you to travel light.
Before you go any deeper, it may be useful to make a mental note of the following:
Who in your life has done wrong by you?
Who in your life has caused suffering?
Who in your life has brought hurt?
How long have you carried this emotional baggage along?
When would now be a good time to let go?
Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. This is not only about seeking forgiveness, but about giving it.
It has been said that you always end up hurting the ones you love, but have you ever given it a further thought why?
In Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) there are several key coaching principles. These principles form the basis of all change. One of the life coaching principles is that "people always do the best they can with the resources they currently have available to them."
With the benefit of hindsight we can look back and recognise how our behaviours affected others around us and realise that under different circumstances, or with newly acquired knowledge we may have behaved differently. We must recognise that this applies to how we behave towards others, and also how others behave towards us. Hence, forgiveness works both ways.
Once you express forgiveness in a relationship for your partners behaviour towards you you can also forgive yourself for how you behaved toward them. Incidentally, you can also forgive your own behaviour or thought pattern which led to your own suffering in the first place.
The key to the power of forgiveness is knowing that it does not mean forgetting. If you have suffered by another's behaviour you do not need to forget the behaviour happened, you simply acknowledge that the past behaviour no longer causes you suffering in the present moment.
Your mind is full of neural networks that are like pathways for your thoughts to follow. The pathways are your blueprints for pleasure an pain. Forgiveness is the mechanism that allows you to access your personal power to resolve your past suffering. When you forgive, you literally re-route and rebuild those neural pathways.
Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself and the other, who will be released from your emotional energetic bonds. Nothing breeds success like success. The deeper you ingrain your new pathways the easier it will be to heal old wounds. Discover more tools and techniques with The Power Of Life Coaching!
Buddhist teachings refer to suffering as the effect of a second arrow. The first arrow inflicts the physical trauma that is endured whilst the second arrow is merely an emotional response to the initial suffering.
It is said that the Buddha once asked a student "If a person is struck by an arrow, is it painful?" Which the student acknowledged that it would be painful. The Buddha then asked "If the person is struck by a second arrow, is it even more painful?" Which seemed like an unusual question to ask.
Buddha went on to explain "In life, we can’t always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is merely our reaction to the first. This second arrow is therefore optional."
Oftentimes people complain long after the initial cause of suffering has gone. That indicates suffering as a result of the second arrow.
For example you may suffer a relationship break up. The initial arrow might be your sudden change of circumstances. You must learn to let go of stuff, let go of egotistical and material things.
Suffering can lead you to profound learning. Otherwise you may be re-infected with the same arrow later in life. That is why you must experience forgiveness in a relationship in order to grow.
Are there poisoned second arrows impacting upon you in your life?
Are you able to forgive them or are you still suffering at the effect of those second arrows?
What have you got to learn from your first arrow?
What is the higher meaning of that situation, the positive learning that will allow you to let go and move on?
Wherever, however, or when ever you suffered pain a life coach will work with you to identify those second arrows. Understanding that there is often a secondary gain or benefit to suffering that can be acknowledged and released through the power of forgiveness.
You can create a cleansing meditation that releases the energetic ties and frees you both. Those ties need to be deactivated as you search your subconscious for the key to unlock negative frequencies.
Imagine those old neural pathways that created pain in your life disappearing as you obliterate that old short cut and lay down new pathways to the emotional freedom you want. That is the fast track route to a relationship breakthrough.
What follows are three ways to invoke the power of forgiveness in you and in your relationships:
Huna is an ancient Hawaiian spiritual healing method and there is plenty of material available to research if you feel inclined. In Huna there is a process known as Ho'oponopono which is specifically based around the power of forgiveness, and not just in relationship crisis.
Ho'oponopono essentially means "to make it right with the ancestors." It's a great tool to use when seeking forgiveness in relationships and eliminating energetic emotional ties.
Simply bring the person to mind with whom there may have been an unsupportive energetic bond and say the following to yourself:
I am sorry
Please forgive me
I love you
If you practise anything like this, even over a short period of time, you will notice the difference in yourself. I am not saying the world will change around you, but you will. You will become lighter, more tolerant, more patient. You will also notice less friction around you.
I am massively grateful to Christopher Howard for this forgiveness process. (By the way click on this link to read about The Power Of Gratitude).
I forgive you, do you forgive me?
This simple question transformed so much hurt. Imaging if you will a couple of thousand people experiencing a profound emotional release at the same time. It was a powerful experience during highly recommended personal development seminar called "Breakthrough To Success." This is one of Chris's entry level life coaching events.
I have attended several of Chris's life coaching events and loved every one. In fact, I am honoured to say I also joined the support crew at a couple of the events held in London. Sadly, those trainings are not currently available in the UK, but the good news is, you can enrol for online events!
I am not kidding when I say that not a dry eye was left in the room of over a thousand people going through the forgiveness process together. The Forgiveness Process can be experienced in my individual or couples life coaching packages. I cannot say specifically how it will impact you, but I can say that you can look forward to a brighter future when you let go of the past.
This is a powerful guided meditation to restore calm to emotionally overwhelming situations.
During meditation sit quietly within a golden circle of light that represents your true being and highest intention. Your golden circle is impenetrable from the outside.
Imagine a storm raging around you like a whirlwind.
Sit strong in the eye of the storm while you continue to be still, and undisturbed.
Allow any negative thought of suffering, of shame, of anger to come to you. Recognise the memory and push it outside of your circle into the storm. See the key elements and people taken by the storm. Spin the whirlwind even faster.
All that chaos is not yours. Recognise the vulnerability of others. Give forgiveness as they forgive you. Observe the outside drama disappear as the energy bonds are released. The storm subsides. You can feel restored and refreshed.
My personal insights from completing the Mindful Storm process:
I had allowed other peoples drama to be more valuable than my own presence of mind. After fully expressing forgiveness, their power over me was gone. It felt as though a boulder had been taken from my shoulders.
I couldn't write this page about the power of forgiveness and not mention a beautiful story by Neale Donald Walshe.
In "The Little Soul In The Sun" Walshe suggests we are experiencing this life of being human in order to learn the lesson of forgiveness.
The Little Soul was troubled and says to God that he wants to know himself as forgiveness. But there was nothing to forgive. Everything was perfect.
At that moment, a friendly soul comes along and having overheard, says he will help. This means that the little soul can come down to the earthly plane and the friendly soul will show up somewhere along the line to do some awful deed.
In the moment of something awful happening, the little soul is asked to recognise who he really is. Otherwise, the little soul will be bound to repeat the lesson until another soul appears to release them.
Has this lesson played out in your own life? It is a powerful lesson.
Imagine if you were the little soul that has been wronged. You must remember that at some level you attracted the awful deed in order to learn the lesson. What if it was all just part of your souls agreement before you even came here?
We must remember that people we meet along our path are just like the friendly soul who agreed to help us learn the power of forgiveness.
One of the key aspects to forgiving is the principle that you must also forgive yourself. You can forgive and be forgiven, and that's the only way to completely let go of emotional ties that hold you back. The emotional energetic bond you carry around the event or the other soul is yours, not theirs, so you are only forgiving a part of yourself anyway.
Be Your Own Life Coach! Try this:
Think of a person with whom you may have a negative emotional bond. For now, keep it simple, not too traumatic.
Just imagine that person, bring them into your mind and ask for their forgiveness internally as you fully forgive them with the phrase:
"I forgive you, do you forgive me?"
I want you to notice a clear, strong "Yes!" Hold on to the thought until you actually see, hear, feel or experience them saying yes. Then cut all the ties between you and release them from your bond. Notice how good it feels to let go. The power of forgiveness is in releasing the energetic bond with that person which means you are both free to grow and evolve.
Give yourself the permission to experience this freedom now.
Acknowledge yourself for a great job!
Imagine the power of dropping the emotional baggage you have been carrying. Even to put it down for one minute and see how liberating your life could be is a breakthrough in itself. Decide to own the healing power of forgiveness in a relationship.
If we are all one in this incredible infinite universe and you cannot love another it means there is still a part that you do not love in yourself. Everything outside of you can only exist because of everything inside you. By experiencing the power of letting go, in forgiveness you are simply allowing another part of you to be free.
And then realise this is just one small step for relationship breakthrough life coaching.
To Your Success!
Relationship Breakthrough Coach provides life coaching in Mossley, Tameside, Uppermill, Saddleworth, and all surrounding areas. Sessions are available for men, women and couples who are ready to transform their health wealth and relationships.
Life coaching is a journey of self discovery. Your journey starts with your next step. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the next step. The power of life coaching will unlock your personal power to overcome obstacles that show up while you get to work on your dreams.
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