Mastering your emotions is a huge step towards transforming a relationship breakdown or break up into a relationship breakthrough!
Albert Einstein believed that we are all boxed in by the boundary conditions of our own thinking. Emotions are a direct response to the boundaries of your thinking. Those boundaries lead to us creating meanings. Whether those meanings are true or not, we respond the same.
We are constantly creating meaning from every stimulus around us. Sometimes consciously but many times unconsciously. All of our memories and future visions create hidden filters and unconscious rules that determine how we feel, what we think, and how we respond.
If you only believed there was a poisonous snake next to your foot, or there actually was a poisonous snake, your emotional response would be the same.
In this page you will learn the secrets of how to harness the power of life coaching and NLP in mastering your emotions.
Before we begin...
You are either a slave to your emotional situation, giving up control and not taking responsibility for your behaviour, or you are mastering them. You decide how you act.
A true master not only chooses their own emotional response, but is able to influence and persuade others to produce positive outcomes. Mastering your emotions is therefore a win-win mindset.
Do your emotions serve you or do you serve your emotion? Do you know how to capture the breathtaking moments and hold them in your thoughts while you create powerful and resourceful anchors that can change your state in a heart beat?
Transform insecurity in to unstoppable confidence
Transform disappointment into curiosity
Transform procrastination into action
Transform anxiety into excitement
Transform fear into power
Transform your life!
You are invited to experience professional life coaching with the Relationship Breakthrough Coach.
A personal breakthrough could obliterate debilitating emotions fears, phobia’s. You can set the level for greater confidence, greater independence, and greater opportunities. You can revel greater opportunities and gain a deeper understanding of your own emotional patterns.
Perhaps you can recall a time when something or someone triggered an unexpected and negative emotional response in you. People usually find this a really simple exercise, so don't dwell too long over this.
Think of how you felt in that moment. We have all been there. Some people keep habitually going there, without even considering why or how they end up feeling. Let alone whether they can master their emotions to focus on a better outcome. Scrub that thought from your mind.
There will always be things that we like and things we do not like. There will be things that cause us to react in un-resourceful ways. This means we have completely lost responsibility for our response to the stimulus.
The art of mastering your emotions begins by adopting the power of mindfulness. What does that mean?
Become aware of the gap between the acknowledgement of the stimulus and the processing of your response. Therein lies your ultimate power. You slow down the impact of the external stimulus upon your internal response mechanism. You move from two step process to a three step process. Robert Cialdini referred to a "Click-Whirr" type effect in his brilliant book, Influence - The Psychology of Persuasion. What your aiming for is "Click - Observe - Whirr."
This is really critical in marketing because the more shocking the stimulus, the quicker you will be triggered to react based on prior conditioning.
"Stimulus - Conditioned Response"
When you stop your thinking and become the observer you will create a new level of awareness of what happened and more importantly how you consciously choose to respond to it.
Stimulus - Awareness - Resourceful Response
When you know what your most desired outcome is you will do anything to find the optimum response towards achieving it.
"Mind the gap!"
Emotional anchors have been dropped around you and you might not have even been aware of it. They have the power to change your state without you even fully knowing why.
Emotional anchors can be dropped when you hit a peak emotional state or arousal in relation to a specific stimulus. When you associate a specific stimulus to a peak emotional state you can create an emotional anchor. When you next trigger the specific stimulus you can go back into the emotional state.
The creation of anchors is equivalent to the "Pavlov's Dog" experimental discovery of classical conditioning. Pavlov, a scientist was able to condition the dogs by ringing a bell at the time of serving food. Pavlov noted that the dogs began to salivate at the sound of the bell, without the food even being present. The dogs were conditioned to respond to the bell even if there was no food delivered. Of course the dogs knew nothing of it. Click-Whirr.
Sounds awesome, but there is a catch. Anchoring works just as well with peak negative emotional states as it does with peak positive emotional states.
Emotional anchors are therefore an unconscious response to an external stimulus. Mastering your unconscious anchors will unhook your previous emotional conditioning. That is the power of emotional anchors.
Are there any alarm bells ringing for you? When have you experienced your partner in a heightened negative emotion and they looked right at you? Perhaps, over and over again? Some studies suggest that even a certain look on your face could trigger the next explosive argument, even if the rest of the day had been awesome! You saw something in their expression which literally sent you over the edge. Stimulus and response.
Here is a quick and dirty way to clear up any emotional ambiguities that might be holding you back
In order to collapse or eliminate an anchor that you not want you must first become aware of the anchor. Otherwise you may be doomed to be like the poor dog salivating every time you hear the bell.
Think of a moment when you found yourself becoming angry but couldn't really work out why you were feeling angry. How easy was it to trigger anger? If you want to experience or feel that state step into the moment looking through your own eyes.
The key to cooling those fires is to interrupt the pattern. Rewind the scene in your own minds eye and notice the precise point in time your anger was triggered. Freeze the frame and step out of the picture so you are looking at yourself becoming angry.
Transform the image at that exact point. Exaggerate the features. Draw on a crazy moustache, eyebrows or sideburns. Give yourself a clowns nose. Change the colours. Make it cartoon like and play a silly theme tune over the top. Step back inside the clown like you. Rewind the movie again and try to replay it but find you cant experience the emotion. Repeat the process until it either cracks the anchor or cracks you up. Where did the anger go? Has it gone now?
Eliminating negative emotions is one half the battle for mastering your emotions. The other half is triggering or eliciting powerful resourceful emotions that drive you towards your desired outcomes. Did you realise you can elicit powerful resource anchors on purpose?
You are going to love this process. It is simple, yet profound.
There are two ways of achieving a peak resource state.
1. Recall an actual event that empowered you
2. Create an imaginary event or visualisation
Both will work just fine by themselves. You can even combine to add layers or fill in gaps.
Recall a time when you experienced a powerful resourceful state. Take these as examples: confidence, courage, determination, action, motivation, passion, love, laughter, awe, and so on.
Go to that time and recall everything. See what you saw, hear what you heard, and what you said to yourself, and feel the feelings overflowing.
If you cant recall a time, imagine a scene in which would cause you to experience those state. For example elicit confidence by imagining being wearing a cape walking a marble floored hotel reception being recognised and welcomed by the hotel manager. You could even practice walking majestically as if you were wearing a cape.
Whichever way you choose to elicit those feelings now take it right up to the peak of the state. In the peak of your state of confidence squeeze your left fist tight.
Repeat the process four or five times, squeezing your fist tight at the peak. Eventually, you will be able to squeeze your fist tight and evoke the feelings of confidence. Just like Pavlov's dog. You are in state! On purpose.
Repeat the exact same process for each of the powerful resource states you would like to anchor. When you want to experience laughter, make sure you are laughing!
In normal everyday circumstances the negative response might seem totally reasonable. Until you unpick the thread. As you unravel the unconscious programming that leads the belief, values and emotions you see boundary conditions.
If you only ever look at your life through a a black and white lens, how could you ever appreciate yellow's, oranges, or reds. You would only see grey, which would ultimately place the boundaries on your thinking. Which in turn limits your behavioural responses and potential.
The Relationship Breakthrough Coach helps people resolve unwanted emotions, release debilitating emotional anchors, and use powerful resource anchors to put them in a peak emotional state for any given situation.
Break free from the emotional chains that hold you down and keep you a slave to past events in your life. Become the master of your emotions and master your health, wealth, and relationships.
No matter what your situation how apparently big or small the challenge, there is always a way and life coaching can help you find it.
I sincerely hope that discovering how to master your emotions with life coaching and NLP has been illuminating for you. I find it fascinating how these things play out. Getting to grips with clients relationship challenges and transforming a breakdown or break up into a breakthrough is my life purpose.
Hopefully you are on a roll and really understanding the role of emotions on another level. Its time to implement your new found knowledge as you go beyond mastering your emotions.
To Your Success!
Relationship Breakthrough Coach provides life coaching in Mossley, Tameside, Uppermill, Saddleworth, and all surrounding areas. Sessions are available for men, women and couples who are ready to transform their health wealth and relationships.
Life coaching is a journey of self discovery. Your journey starts with the next step. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the next step.
The power of life coaching will unlock your personal power to overcome obstacles that show up while you get to work on your dreams.
I sincerely hope you find what you were looking for.