The power of cultivating loving kindness

Random acts of loving kindness will stop people in their tracks. Have you ever experienced another human being showing up for you just at the right moment? In this page you will discover two ways to cultivate compassion for yourself, and in others. Particularly powerful in any relationship break up or breakdown scenario, and equally powerful in other areas of your life at the same time. Compassion is a fundamental human expression of caring and love for others. Contribution is one of our six human needs. This meditation process can be challenging at first, but liberating in the long run.

  • Do you deserve to suffer for how you treat others?
  • Do you blame others for how they treat you?
  • Do you shirk opportunities to show compassion for others?
  • Do you ever wish you had peace of mind, even for just 30 minutes?

Contribution without expectation

Imagine what it would be like to sit and ponder with a serene clarity of thought that could transport you peacefully through the wildest relationship storm. There will be storms, just as there will be glorious long summer days.

Buddhist traditions speak strongly of the joy's of simply letting go and going in to a deep, relaxing meditative state. There are several recognised health benefits too. Clarity, stress relief, increased levels of concentration and so on.  

Whoever you are, whatever your beliefs, there is a benefit to you to cultivate kindness in yourself and others. 

Cultivating Loving Kindness In Yourself

Meditating for the first time can feel a little strange, but really you are doing nothing, because there is nothing to do. Your mind may tell you otherwise, and so the guide of this meditation is to focus on each stage of the process in sequence. 

Four Steps To Cultivate Loving Kindness

Find a safe space for you to relax where you won't be disturbed.

Either sit on a straight backed chair, or cushions on the floor, wherever you can be most comfortable during your meditation. You don't have to be in the lotus position or able to put your ankles behind your head! Just find somewhere comfortable.

Switch off the phone. Switch off the TV. Light a candle if you prefer and even some incense that lifts your spirits high.

Simply observe your breath. In through the nose and out through the mouth. A few repetitions of deep breathing can have immense positive impact on your mind and body. The additional oxygen you send through your bloodstream is just one of the positive side effects, before you go deeper into this meditation. Take between three to five minutes to settle your thoughts.

Step 1: Cultivate compassion for yourself

Think for one moment. What are the simple things you desire most in life?

Health, wealth, freedom, free from pain, free from suffering, happiness, peace of mind, love?

How about success in work, success in sport, a loving relationship, or peace of mind?

Internally, state those things you desire most. Ask your higher self, or your God, or your creator, whichever has most meaning to you, "May I be healthy", "may I be strong", "may I be free from suffering", "may I be wealthy", "may I have peace of mind". 

Repeat this internal dialogue for around four or five minutes. The most simple things in life can transform us most. Repeat the thought and associate with the phrase as if it these are your highest intention.

Step 2: Cultivate compassion for someone close to you

As you wish for these things of yourself, wish them on a person you care about. Bring that person to mind remember them. Bless them as you internally continue to recite, "As I wish for....may (Use Their Name) also have love", "health" "wealth" "happiness" etc.

Repeat this internal dialogue for around four or five minutes whilst focusing on your friend or loved one.

Step 3: Cultivate compassion towards a neutral person

As you wish for these things of yourself, wish them on a person who has a neutral impact upon you. Bring that person to mind as you internally continue to recite, "As I wish for....may this person also have...."

Repeat this internal dialogue for around four or five minutes whilst focusing on someone neutral.

Step 4: Cultivate compassion toward someone who has been challenging for you

As you wish for these things of yourself, wish them on a person who has upset or challenged you in some way. Someone who you perhaps do not like. Bring that person to mind as you internally continue to recite, "As I wish for....may this person also have...."

This stage is often the most challenging, and also most liberating. See the person as an extension of your self. Expressing loving kindness toward them is developing a strong sense of compassion in yourself. 

Repeat this internal dialogue for around four or five minutes whilst focusing on the person. Begin to see them in a different light as you wish them peace, love, and happiness.

Completion: Expand your compassion beyond boundaries

You can end the meditation here or if you chose, you can expand your thoughts of kindness to other people around you, in the house, the street, your organisation, the town, the city, the country, the world. As you choose.

The whole meditation can be completed in as little as 25 minutes, or more if you wish to spend longer on developing loving kindness and compassion for each person.

Whatever blessing you desire most, wish it also upon those people around you. Especially those with whom there may have been some emotional charge. A boss, an employee, a partner, family member, or friend. Your stress will disappear and you will achieve a clarity of thought that can transform those relationships.

Cultivating Loving Kindness In Others

You don't have to visit any Temple, Church, Synagogue or Mosque to develop loving kindness. You don't even have to practice this meditation. This is something you can cultivate in your everyday life, in your home, or in your work for example.

You may discover a good cross section of people taking in some form of meditation practice. A business owner, an employee from major corporation, a housewife, students. Like you, they have a curiosity and desire to find ways to more loving relationships with their partners, families, friends, colleagues, and people they have crossed. They also share a desire to cultivate loving kindness. 

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Hope you found your visit to the Relationship Breakthrough Coach of value today. Did you find what you are looking for?

I am adding new content all the time but if you have any idea's or topics you would really love to see here, get in touch and let me know.

In the meantime here are more great pages dedicated to transforming your relationship breakdown or break up into a breakthrough. 

Practice developing a Relationship With Loving Kindness

Return to Our Centre For Loving Relationships

Get deeper into relationships with Our Relationship Coaching Centre

Discover more about relationships at the Relationship Breakthrough Coach home page.

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