The Power Of loving kindness

A Four Step Meditation For Cultivating Compassion

The healing power of loving kindness can stop stress in it's tracks. This deeply transformative meditation restores balance as you cultivate compassion. 

Your compassion builds with each step like a blessing of peace, harmony, and acceptance that you give yourself. 

Keeping your head while all around you lose theirs is an act of mindfulness. When you are filled with compassion you will rise above the drama's that once threatened your peace of mind. 

Before you learn the four steps: 

Are there people who deserve your compassion?

Are there people with whom you have experienced challenge?

Are there people who have supported you?

Are there people who have caused you suffering?

Do you ever wish you could be blessed with peace of mind, even for just 30 minutes?

Quick Links To Unlock The Power Of Loving Kindness

What Is The Power Of Loving Kindness?

Experience The Power Of Loving Kindness

Why Is Loving Kindness So Powerful?

Four Step Process To Cultivate The Power Of Loving Kindness

Sharing The Power Of Loving Kindness

What Is The Power Of Loving Kindness? 

I hope you make the most of these Power of Life Coaching tools and processes that you can try out for yourself. Sometimes, it is just being in the right place at the right time that can make all the difference. 

Have you ever experienced another human being showing up for you just at the right moment? I have. And it was in the most unexpected circumstances. I was introduced to The Manchester Buddhist Centre located on Talbot Street in the City Centre. I never even knew it existed, and I never in a million years thought I would be joining a training course to learn about Buddhism and mindfulness. 

At the time I was making the all my relationship breakdown drama's much worse than they needed to be. I was experiencing breakdown in communication and just finding my life stressful. 

That training introduced me to the loving kindness meditation. It was the perfect antidote to all my stress and all the challenges I was facing. Yes it was difficult at first but after several practices I found my thoughts changing. I was able to develop compassion for my self, my own being, and then extend loving kindness to the people in my life. Even those who were pushing me to the limit. I felt a peace wash over me, and a sense of freedom for the first time in what felt like an age. 

Compassion is a fundamental human expression of caring and love for others. This meditation process can be challenging at first, but liberating in the long run. 

May you be happy, may you be blessed, may you be loved.

Experience The Power Of Loving Kindness

As you take the four simple steps you will experience the power of compassion for yourself, and compassion for others. It will literally change the way you look at things. As you you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Through the power of loving kindness you will experience positive shifts in your emotional state. 

With practice, you will be able to sit with a serene clarity of thought that will transport you gracefully through the wildest relationship storm. Yes there will be storms, metaphorically speaking, but there will be long and glorious summer days. By maintaining a positive mindset through the storm, you will have more time and energy to enjoy the summer! 

Ancient Buddhist traditions teach us about the power of simply letting go and going in to a deep, relaxing meditative state. Modern research has revealed that there are many recognised health benefits too. Clarity, stress relief, increased levels of concentration, lowered blood pressure and so on. Mindfulness can also be a boost to your vitality and overall wellbeing. 

Whoever you are, whatever your beliefs, there is a benefit to you to cultivate loving kindness towards yourself and others. 

Meditating for the first time can feel a little strange, but really you are doing nothing, because there is nothing to do. Your mind may tell you otherwise, but that's OK. You don't need to try and force anything.  The purpose of this meditation is to focus on each stage of the process in sequence. If your mind wanders, just become aware and go back to the stage you were at.

Four Steps To Cultivate Loving Kindness

I would suggest to read this page all the way through first. At least the  four steps. You could also print it out to keep for reference. 

I would also recommend a meditation timer that you can mark each step or stage of the meditation. There are many apps available so choose one you like that gives you the option to set the times and stages. 

For this meditation, if you take three minutes to settle in and add five minutes per step, then two minutes to rest that gives a total of twenty  five minutes. You can change the timings to suit you, but I think that is a good place to start.

Find a safe space for you to relax where you won't be disturbed. Switch off the phone. Switch off the TV. Light a candle if you prefer or even some incense if that lifts your spirits. If light ambient background sounds help, play those too.


Begin by finding your seat, on a straight backed chair, or cushions on the floor, wherever you can be most comfortable during your meditation. You don't have to be in the lotus position or able to put your ankles behind your head. Just find somewhere comfortable to sit for a while.

Simply observe your breath. In through the nose and out through the mouth. A few repetitions of deep breathing can have immense positive impact on your mind and body. The additional oxygen you send through your bloodstream is just one of the positive side effects. Take between three to five minutes to settle your thoughts.

Step 1: Cultivate Loving Kindness towards yourself

Think for one moment. What are the simple things you desire most in life?

Health, wealth, freedom, free from pain, free from suffering, happiness, peace of mind, love, joy? Imagine being those things you desire most. Ask your higher self, your God, or your creator, whichever has most meaning to you:


 "May I be healthy", see yourself as being healthy.

 "May I be strong", see yourself as being strong.

 "May I be free from suffering", see yourself as free from suffering.

 "May I be wealthy", see yourself as wealthy.

 "May I have peace of mind". 

Repeat this internal dialogue for around four or five minutes. 

The most simple things in life can transform us most. You do not have to think of every single thing that you want, only one or two, or maybe three will be enough. Repeat the thought and associate with the phrase as if it these are your strongest desires in life.

Step 2: Cultivate Loving Kindness for someone close to you

As you wish for these things of yourself, wish them on a person you care about. It does not have to be a partner. It could be a close relative, son or daughter, mother or father or even a close friend. As you hold the thought of the person close to you recite silently to yourself:

"As I wish to be healthy may they also be well", 

"As I wish for peace of mind, may they also have peace"

Repeat this internal dialogue for around four or five minutes whilst focusing on your friend or loved one.

Step 3: Cultivate Loving Kindness towards a neutral person

As you wish for these things of yourself, wish them on a person you feel neutral towards. This may be somebody who works in the same building, a relative such as a cousin, or a friend of a friend. As you hold the thought of this person recite silently to yourself:

"As I wish to be healthy may they also be well", 

"As I wish for peace of mind, may they also have peace"

Repeat this internal dialogue for around four or five minutes.

Step 4: Cultivate Loving Kindness toward someone who has been challenging for you

YAs you wish for these things of yourself, wish them on a person who has upset or challenged you in some way. Someone who you perhaps do not like. As you hold the thought of this person recite silently to yourself:

"As I wish to be healthy may they also be well", 

"As I wish for peace of mind, may they also have peace"

Repeat this internal dialogue for around four or five minutes.

This stage may seem the most challenging, but it can also be the most liberating. As you develop the loving kindness mindset you may even begin to see the person as an extension of your self. Expressing loving kindness toward them is developing a strong sense of compassion in yourself. 

Instead of blaming and pointing the finger at those around you, why not wish them well? Sending them only positive thoughts. That which you wish for yourself you should give unto others, shouldn't you?

Completion: Expand your compassion beyond boundaries

There is an optional fifth step to this meditation. You can end the meditation here or if you chose, or you can express loving kindness to all the other people around you, in the house, the street, the town, the city, the country, the world. As you choose.

The whole meditation can be completed in around 25 minutes, or more if you may wish to enjoy the power of loving kindness a little longer.

There is a brilliantly detailed description of this meditation on the Wildmind website. Although I learned this meditation at the Manchester Buddhist Centre, Bodhipaksa's version is exactly the same steps and I really like his description of the process. I have found his website to be a great resource for all kinds of mindfulness guided meditations which may be of interest to you. 

Sharing The Power Of Loving Kindness

You don't have to visit any Temple, Church, Synagogue or Mosque to learn about loving kindness. You don't even have to practice this meditation. Although you may find that you want to.

The more you develop your practice, the more profound your results will be. It wont necessarily make the adversity disappear but it will certainly change the way you look at it. 

You may realise that a good cross section of people are taking in some form of meditation practice. Business owners, an employee from major corporation, a housewife, athlete's, students and so on. Like you, they have a curiosity to find ways to improve their relationships with partners, families, friends, and colleagues. Feel free to share this page with your personal network. They may soon be cultivating the power of loving kindness towards you too. 

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To Your Success


The Relationship Breakthrough Coach

Follow The Relationship Breakthrough Coach 

Relationship Breakthrough Coach provides life coaching for men, women and couples in Mossley, Tameside, Uppermill, Saddleworth, and all surrounding areas. I also work with english speaking international clients via Skype and Zoom.

Life coaching is a journey of self discovery. Your journey starts with your next step. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the next step. The power of life coaching will unlock your personal power to overcome obstacles that show up while you get to work on your dreams.

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