Discover how to survive divorce and achieve more than you could possibly dare to imagine! Well, if that isn't a bold claim you probably wouldn't be researching this content in the first place.
Divorce can be incredibly challenging for men. Not only are there legal obstacles to overcome but there are also a million and one other matters to pay attention to. Some perhaps that you haven't had to deal with before now. And then there are the emotional storms looming right around the corner.
Just when you are learning how to survive a divorce and think everything is ok cracks can appear.
Are you focused on saving your business or your relationship with your kids? Do you protect a pension or your property assets? And who gets the dog?
No wonder that emotions become storms when you are faced with divorce. Some of the key thoughts whirling around might be along the lines of
Do I need a expert divorce solicitor to handle the divorce?
Can I get divorced without a solicitor?
How much will this divorce cost me?
How will I still get to see my kids?
How can I keep everything together while my life has turned upside down?
These are frequently asked questions for men looking to get through a divorce unscathed. With just a little nudge in your thinking you will be asking better questions that will mean not only will you emerge unscathed, but you will emerge with a new lease of life, a new sense of freedom, and potential to achieve more than you could possibly dare imagine!
For many men the focus is not on how to thrive, but on just how to survive divorce. It is almost as if there is a feeling of guilt that holds them back. Why should it? The relationship didn't work out. It took two to tango and no doubt you played your part but life moves on. You might have responsibilities if there are children from the marriage. You stepped in fatherhood with the intention of caring for your children and that hasn't changed. What has changed is the roadmap. Which means you need to take a bearing before setting off again. No point looking for a sunset travelling east.
That is why human needs psychology is critical for you. Different models suggest different needs however you want to keep this simple. You want to stick with the fundamentals.
Certainty - you need to know where home is and where to keep your stuff. You also need shelter, food, sleep and routines. Routines help with calming the mind. Imagine waking in the morning for a meeting in a city you never visited before. You don't know where your socks are, there is no toothpaste in the bathroom, and you haven't charged your phone. It happens. Take care of the essentials and they will take care of you.
Uncertainty - No its not a contradiction but an enhancement of your resilience. How much uncertainty you can stand is equally proportional to the quality of your life. Surviving a divorce is adding colours and depth you haven't experienced before. No you will travel along a new route, you will meet new people, you will have different conversations. All opportunities to open your mind to new possibilities.
Connection - Lost connections are temporary because new connections are being made all the time. Friends and relatives may respond differently to you for a while but that will change. Time to prune the ones that weren't serving you anyway. The energy drains. Yeah that's right! Don't let them take up anymore of your oxygen. spend your time with the people you love to connect with. The people who hold you to a higher standard.
Contribution - You still get to contribute. Perhaps even more so now. Your resources are precious but you alone decide whether you "get" to contribute, or you "have" to. Outside of your divorce you also get to chose how and where to contribute your time, your energy and your resources. How about investing in you, so there is more of you to give?
Growth - If your relationship was flat and falling you weren't growing. But that doesn't mean you won't learn from the experience. You wouldn't want to take all the same baggage into your next relationship would you?
Love - Most of all you get to discover how much love you can experience in your life. The love of your life may be just around the corner. The life you love is waiting for you to come along and live it. How are you going to show up?
Sometimes the most courageous thing you can do, is simply ask for help. Family lawyers are experts in their field of law. They have chosen to specialise in a very niche, but lucrative area of the law. You expect to pay a premium for a specialist service.
Whilst "Google" might pretend to know everything you wouldn't particularly want Alexa stood in court by your side. Although, maybe in future that might be a possibility. Your solicitor will give you expert advice that you should consider if you want to know how to survive divorce.
But that's as far as they are going to go. They won't be there to pick up the pieces afterwards. In fact, if you really want to know how to survive divorce and achieve more than you could possibly dare imagine you will need a team. Teamwork makes the dream work.
Think about your priorities. Your health? Your career? Your wealth? Your goals? Whilst these might not seem important to you in the moment, if you ignore them now, you might find yourself on the subs bench.
Think back to the basic human needs. Shelter, food, clothing? Get that sorted first. Get somewhere to rest, to think, to eat and to plan your next steps. Take some downtime too. But bare in mind the courts will be on a deadline and your lawyer will bill by the hour. The more prepared you are, the easier the path will be. Besides, you don't want to arrive at court reeking of intoxicants when discussing child care arrangements.
What about your mindset? How do you deal with your emotions? (you could try the Online Relationship Academy to learn more about emotions)
What about nerves going in to court? It can appear to be a hostile place after all. Are you ready for that?
Who is going to listen to you, help you focus on the issues right in front of you now? Is it really just about how to survive your divorce? In order to navigate these rough waters you must have the compass set at your true north. Find out what is most important to you. How do you do that? You begin with the end in mind.
Know your outcome and you will recognise the smaller steps you must take to get there. If you want to be broke, with no house, no job, no access to your kids you can party hard and forget about the divorce. You are free to choose after all.
You have an opportunity to reset the game of life. You have to change a few ideas. You have to accept some belief changes. Like for example the "till death do us part" belief. You have to make some adjustments in your identity. Who you think you are now is not who you will be in a year or two, or five years time.
Successful men take on a life coach not because of who they are but who they want to become. To reach a goal in life you have to do the actions and become that kind of person. Who do you know that is a huge role model for you? How would you become that role model?
An older version of you might be stuck thinking how to survive divorce, but the new empowered, motivated, inspired you would be thinking how to survive divorce and achieve more than you could possibly dare imagine!
You can achieve infinite potential through life coaching with The Relationship Breakthrough Coach. Investing in life coaching is like putting your own oxygen mask on first. Whilst your old relationship goes up in flames, so does your old self, your old ego, your old boundaries. You can stand their and hope your tears will put the flames out or you can commit to rise like the Phoenix and reclaim the life that was always waiting for you anyway.
Put this another way:
1. Recognise your needs and wants
2. Formulate a plan
3. Find time for you
4. Forgive your former self
5. Forgive your ex
6. Seek professional help
And that my friend is "How To Survive Divorce And Achieve More Than You Could Possibly Dare Imagine"
Relationship Breakthrough Coach provides life coaching for men, women and couples in Mossley, Tameside, Uppermill, Saddleworth, and all surrounding areas. I also work with english speaking international clients via Skype and Zoom.
Life coaching is a journey of self discovery. Your journey starts with your next step. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the next step. The power of life coaching will unlock your personal power to overcome obstacles that show up while you get to work on your dreams.
I sincerely hope you found what you were looking for.
I am adding new content all the time but if you have any idea's or topics you would like to see, get in touch and let me know.
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In the meantime here are more great pages dedicated to transforming your relationship breakdown or break up into a breakthrough: