Module 3: Mastering Emotional Self Awareness

The Key To Enriching Your Relationships

Mastering your emotional self awareness is a major step towards enrich ing your life. Each step of the journey to master your emotions is critical to transform a relationship breakdown or break up into a relationship breakthrough.  

When you focus on emotions you can become your own worst critic which is not where you want to be. 

 

Is it ok to feel anger, joy, depression or desire? 


Does a behaviour led to shame or guilt, and yet you do it anyway? 


How do you respond to these emotional signals and guides?


If you have already taken the first two modules to understand why we have emotions and consider the types of emotion that colours your reality you are ready to enhance your emotional self awareness.

Building Emotional Self Awareness

You are already beginning to build on your emotional self awareness. Think back to the positive emotions and negative emotions tasks you completed in Module 2 - Types of Emotion. If you didn't complete that module now would be a great time to jump in and complete those two life coaching actions.

Review your notes. 

How many emotions did you experience in that three day period? 

How many of the emotions were desirable?

How many emotions did you create an intention to experience?

How would you rate your emotional self awareness for those three days? Think of a scale of 1-10 and score yourself. 

In order to build on your emotional self awareness you must first expand your vocabulary. First step, Plutchiks eight fundamental emotions.

The Eight Fundamental Human Emotions

Professor Robert Plutchik, noted psychologist, listed the basic or fundamental types of emotion as follows:

Joy

Trust

Fear

Surprise

Sadness

Disgust

Anger

Anticipation

(Plutchiks Wheel of Emotions is coming up in the next module of Master Your Emotions life coaching course). 


Notice how there are really two sides to each of four emotional experiences. Imagine that in between each pair is an entire spectrum of emotion and experience. This is how you enrich and colour your relationship.

Take these eight fundamental emotions and list them in order of your experience. The emotions you experience most in your relationship should be higher in the list. 

What does your list suggest? Bear in mind that these are not life coaching interventions or even conclusions, only suggestions to spark your curiosity as you continue to enhance your emotional self awareness. 

If you imagine your emotions as a spectrum of colour all the words we use to describe how we feel or respond might be shades of that fundamental colour. As a child you would have used a single blue colour paint to reflect the sky and a single green for the ground. As a mature artist you rejoice in the hundreds of shades of blues, whites, and greys that make up the sky and equally vibrant palette of greens that make up the hills and trees.

Mastering Your Emotional Vocabulary

Expanding your vocabulary will enhance your emotional self awareness. 


Take these seventy colourful human emotions that you can use to enrich and master your emotional self awareness:

A list of emotions

acceptance

admiration

adoration

aesthetic appreciation

affection

aggression

ambivalence

amusement

anger

anxiety

apathy

awe

awkwardness

boredom

calmness

compassion

confusion

contempt

craving

depression

disgust

doubt

ecstasy

empathy

envy

embarrassment

empathic pain

entrancement

euphoria

excitement

expectation

fear

forgiveness

frustration

gratitude

grief

guilt

hatred

hope

horror

hostility

homesickness

hunger

hysteria

interest

joy

loneliness

love

malaise

motivated

nostalgia

paranoia

pity

pleasure

pride

rage

regret

relief

remorse

romance

sadness

satisfaction

sexual desire

shame

suffering

surprise

sympathy

49 Shades Of Anger

This list of words relate to anger. If you can add colour and depth to your experience of just one emotion at a time your emotional self awareness will grow exponentially.  


(The following list can also be seen on at Thesaurus,Com

acrimony

animosity

annoyance

antagonism

displeasure

enmity

exasperation

fury

hatred

impatience

indignation

ire

irritation

outrage

passion

rage

resentment

temper

violence

chagrin

choler

conniption

dander

disapprobation

distemper

gall

huff

infuriation

irascibility

irritability

miff

peevishness

petulance

pique

rankling

soreness

stew

storm

tantrum

tiff

umbrage

vexation

blow up

cat fit

hissy fit

ill humour

ill temper

mad

slow burn

It is almost impossible to imagine how many human emotions there are. We are bound only by our vocabulary. 


"PositivePsychology.Com" put the actual number around 34,000! Thats how many emotions there are.


Mastering Your Emotional Self Awareness

Consider the specific language and words that you use when referring to your own emotions. The pen is mightier than the sword. The joy of emotions is poetry in motion. Think of the primary emotions you experienced then run each word through a thesaurus and your list of emotions will grow, you emotional vocabulary will expand and your emotional self awareness will be enriched. 

Is your language rich, subtle or expressive, is it more towards the quiet pastel side or is it full on vibrancy?

In particular were you mad, cross, cheesed off, troubled, angry or absolutely freakin' furious at any stage? 

Notice the different image each word creates in that last sentence. Each emotion is available in all colours and sizes. It isn't one size fits all. And thats the beauty of the English language. That creates the richness of your experience. 

The next step of mastering emotional self awareness is to notice your emotions over the next two days and try to capture the moment. You must decide if your emotional response is desirable, or intentional. 

One of the most powerful life coaching questions for enhancing emotional self awareness is this: 

Are you the cause or at the effect of your emotions? "Click-Whirr"

Enrich Your Life With Emotional Self Awareness

Now that you have a vivid list of emotions at your disposal, you could retake the task to elicit your emotions over the past three days. This time, don't worry about differentiation between positive emotions or negative emotions. 

Just write down your top ten emotions from the list of emotions as they come to your awareness. 

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture,

still treat each guest honourably.

He may be clearing you out for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,

meet them at the door laughing,

and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,

because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond.

– Rumi

In "Living an Inspired Life" Dr Wayne Dyer suggests that when you ask  the question "Who am I?" people tend to identify themselves by what they have, what they do, what they accomplish but they lose touch of their original self. 

Try this yourself and just fill in the appropriate words. Go with the first thing that comes to mind:


"I am ..."


This is particular appropriate when you are in the heat of the moment as it were, experiencing your emotions. 


"I am delighted"

"I am depressed" 

"I am angry"

"I am frustrated"


The truth is that we are none of these things. 


We may be experiencing those things but they are not us. You can not identify yourself as "angry", but you can identify as someone having an experience of anger.

And there is really awesome news in terms of mastering your emotional intelligence. 

Unexpected Benefits Of Labelling Emotions

Studies in neuroscience have revealed that labelling emotions has a positive impact in diminishing the attachment to the emotion. It is possible to change your state by changing the way you label the experience. 

Transforming emotions to make them less intense is a huge step towards turning a relationship breakdown or break up into a relationship breakthrough!

Lets me show you how this works in reality.

You are sat in your car at an intersection waiting to turn and vehicle comes the opposite direction on a red traffic signal forcing you to wait another round!

Whats the emotion? How do you express it? How do you label the other road user?

"You carry a God about within you, poor wretch, and know nothing of it"

Epictetus - Greek Philosopher

Ok stop, erase the screen and start over. You're emotional intelligence shines through you. You recognise that naming emotions helps to bridge a gap between thoughts and feeling. Instead of cursing the other driver, you recognise that your own emotional state is precious. You acknowledge that you state has been challenged by the behaviour.

"A moment ago I was experiencing calm but I am now feeling angry because I am delayed in making the crossing."

It isn't wrong to experience anger in certain situations, but to stay in anger could be. By acknowledging and properly labelling how we feel, we can create a huge expanse of capacity to use our brains for a change.    

Next Step To Master Your Emotions

So now you know how to master your emotional self awareness and how this can impact your relationships. You also know about the power of your emotions vocabulary and being specific when labelling your emotion. Was that a blast?

Get ready to go even deeper as I invite you to give Robert Plutchiks Wheel of Emotions a spin in Module 4 of Master Your Emotions. Back to the top of the page

Follow The Relationship Breakthrough Coach 


Relationship Breakthrough Coach provides life coaching for men, women and couples in Mossley, Tameside, Uppermill, Saddleworth, and all surrounding areas. I also work with english speaking international clients via Skype and Zoom.

Life coaching is a journey of self discovery. Your journey starts with your next step. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the next step. The power of life coaching will unlock your personal power to overcome obstacles that show up while you get to work on your dreams.


Where Will Your Next Steps Take You?

I sincerely hope you found what you were looking for.

I am adding new content all the time but if you have any idea's or topics you would like to see, get in touch and let me know.

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