Professional divorce advice from a lawyer comes at a premium cost. Finding a family law firm or a solicitor to advise through your divorce will be easy. There are thousands of options within your area or surrounding area. Choosing a divorce solicitor or lawyer to handle your relationship break up may be more difficult. You need to be certain and specific with your questioning. Seek and you will find. But be careful what you ask for . . .
The point of divorce is to legally dissolve the marriage. You have to 'file' for divorce which means you have to submit your case papers to the court. You also have to have those papers formally served on your former partner.
Before you go deeper into this: I want to ask you the most important question you will answer:... Are you sure this is where you want to be?
I don't mean trying to discover the most important divorce advice men wished they had been given, I mean is divorce where you want to be?
Answer this next question before you even think of anything else:
Are you longing for a relationship break up, or a relationship breakthrough? Is your relationship breakdown recoverable?
A divorce is a final step. A dissolution. An ending. A completion.
You need to be specific with your questions to get what you really want. Seek and you will . . .
If you don’t remain focused on the outcome you want any divorce advice you listen to could lead down the wrong road. It's your call. You are the client. You are the person experiencing the drama, the emotion, the stress , the heart ache, frustration, or joy of the marriage break up. Your lawyer isn't. It is not their job to jump into the pity party with you.
Although they may be prepared to sit and listen to everything you have to say about your situation this shouldn't be the primary focus of your meetings. Save that for your friends and family. Do you need a divorce solicitor?
The primary focus of your lawyer is giving you the divorce advice you need to protect your interests and achieve a fair and agreeable end to your marriage within the law. If your situation isn't particularly complicated you might not even need a solicitor, or at least you might be able handle the paperwork with the occasional legal advice on how to complete the papers.
The lawyer is not there to listen every minute detail of every argument, indiscretion or outrageous behaviour of your partner. The trouble is, divorce can be emotionally traumatic and the fact that you are talking to someone can be a form of release. Be aware that every time you sit in the lawyers office, discuss a situation on the telephone, or even send an email, your lawyer will probably be billing you.
Most solicitors or family lawyers will offer a free initial consultation. You should definitely take advantage of any free introductory advice. Make sure you get the most out of the precious time you spend with them. After the first hour you will be billed, or charged for any further meetings or calls.
You can also use the free time to get to know the solicitor and the their unique philosophy of handling divorce for men. Do they specialise in looking out for your interests? Do you work in a particular field or do you own your own business or businesses? Do you own considerable assets of a particular kind?
Notice how the divorce solicitor approaches the subject, and how they work out what your priorities are.
Be absolutely clear of your intentions. You may have to make certain compromises but start strong and stay focused. If you become distracted with the emotions it could cost you in the short term, and in the long term.
Think about your current situation. What is your ultimate purpose in seeking legal advice about divorce?
Although the legal jargon can seem complex and confusing it is quite possible and acceptable to do this for yourself. In fact, the more you can do for yourself the less your lawyer will be billing for their professional divorce advice.
You can instruct your lawyer to "advise you" or you can instruct them to do it for you. Either way, you pay for the lawyers time.
Of course some cases are significantly more complex than others. Mainly resolving the financial settlement between you. The more complex, the more valuable your lawyer's advice will be to you.
If I could give you one piece divorce advice now it would be to really consider what you are willing to sacrifice now in order to gain later. You keep your sanity, your focus, your health and freedom if you can agree to the final details. You could also save a small fortune in legal fees.
Sometimes the cost of professional advice could far outweigh the benefit of fighting for a particular settlement that is contested. Its all a numbers game. Its just business to everyone except your partner and you. That is why your ability to negotiate with your former partner will be hugely valuable to you.
For example you might want to contest the sale of a the home because there is equity that you want to be released. Work out the likelihood of achieving that settlement, and the cost of your legal fees. Your return on investment in that battle might be less than you think.
Your lawyer does not instruct you. They advise you. You instruct your lawyer, or not. That is your choice. The value of professional divorce advice is protecting your interests.
That may be just to make sure you can maintain a healthy relationship with your children, or that you protect your financial interests in future. That could be worth its weight in gold to you.
I was scared I would get burned. Financially, Physically, Emotionally, Spiritually. I did what most people would do. I paid a lawyer to represent me but got burned with their fees whilst getting absolutely nowhere with the divorce.
I don't blame the lawyer because it was my responsibility, not theirs. The situation was a powerful motivator for me to get something done, but what should I do? What is “for the best” anyway?
I found a life coach, and my journey changed. I became focused, clear about the outcomes I really wanted. Stronger emotionally and ready to put the pieces back together again. I only wish I had taken this step much sooner.
Just as choosing a professional lawyer to handle your divorce comes at a premium, hiring a life coach can sound like a luxury or significant investment. For many successful men, life coaching is an investment they could not afford to miss. Many times a client will say that the life coaching didn't just change the relationship, it changes their life.
There is infinite potential value of life coaching with The Relationship Breakthrough Coach if you are willing to commit to your own transformation. Investing in life coaching is like putting your own oxygen mask on first.
Relationship Breakthrough Coach provides life coaching in Mossley, Tameside, Uppermill, Saddleworth, and all surrounding areas. Sessions are available for men, women and couples who are ready to transform their health wealth and relationships.
Life coaching is a journey of self discovery. Your journey starts with your next step. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the next step. The power of life coaching will unlock your personal power to overcome obstacles that show up while you get to work on your dreams.
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