coping with relationship break up

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Life Coaching strategies You Need 
to thrive after a break up 

Coping with Relationship Break Up can be like an extended period of mourning. These are significant emotional events that we may experience in our lifetime. For some people it will be more than once. Sometimes a relationship break up can be traumatic and yet in others a break up can be a total relief.

It doesn't matter if your break up is from a long term relationship or marriage. Things can get pretty messed up pretty quickly which will impact upon your behaviours and thoughts in unexpected ways. 

Sometimes the emotions and the economics get mixed up and this leads to stress, anxiety, depression or worse still, it may lead to suicide. This doesn't serve your long term recovery. This is not the door to happiness and abundance.

Life coaching with the Relationship Breakthrough Coach will help you realign your thoughts, emotions and decisions with your highest values. But what if you are not ready to commit to getting that one to one support?

This page will focus upon healing from and coping with those traumatic emotional events we call relationship breakup. 

Coping with relationship break up is not about one huge thing but many little things that fill the emotional bucket. You need to drain the bucket every now and then otherwise it will overflow.

You are coping with identity shift from "in a relationship" to "single." From having a home to having a room or a settee. From having a family to juggling commitments just to spend precious time with your kids. From having faith and hope to facing uncertainty and change.

This section is all about relationship break up and more importantly how to turn your relationship break up into a personal breakthrough.

Many people see relationship breakdowns and divorce as symbol of failure, and yet it is often the catalyst for massive personal growth. If you can manage your emotions, you can certainly manage the reality of separation and divorce. 

Successful coping strategies for healing relationship break up

If you're coming to the end of a relationship it doesn't matter if you are married, living together, or just "in a relationship". It can be painful. The threat of separation and divorce are enough to send anybody's focus and emotions into spasm!  You are already coping with a relationship break up even if it hasn't broken up yet.

It is not unusual for emotions to become a little manic during this time. The trouble is that the threat of any looming separation or divorce can trigger your emotional "unconscious" defence strategies. Fight or flight. Sink or swim. Thrive or nose dive.

After all who wants to be heartbroken? Who wants to be lonely? Who wants to let them get away with betrayal, rejection, infidelity? The stimulus drives your reaction.

Your thoughts elicit your emotions which triggers the action or behaviours you create next. If you stay in reaction you will begin to spiral as the mindful storm whirls around you. 

Freedom to Choose Your Response

But, if you step back, consciously and become the student of your unconscious thoughts and patterns you can learn how to overcome them. You can create a break up between the stimulus and your response.  

Which is more important?

 The response, or

 The outcome?

Did you know that you can elicit resourceful and powerful  emotions that are aligned with the desired outcome? Through hypnosis, NLP and life coaching I can teach you how. Negative emotions can dissolve like water on a hot sunny day and you can replace them with any resourceful state you desire.  There are many powerful ways of not only  coping with relationship break up, but transforming it into a personal breakthrough.

If you only remember one thing, remember that there is no failure only learning. Next time you feel yourself being triggered into an unwanted reaction, ask your unconscious what your desired response should be and what you can learn from this.

Successful coping strategies for reducing stress and anxiety

You're coping with relationship break up.
What do you ask yourself?

Why would they do that?  

How could they do that?

Why am always the one who is an emotional wreck?

Why are all women psycho's?

Why are all men b4st4rds?

There are hundreds of scenarios that impact on your coping with relationship break up. These scenario's are what manifested at the surface level. Fighting, arguing, name calling, mistrust, break down in communication and so on.

What lies beneath all these emotions is fear. Not fear about the relationship but fear of being enough, of being of value. 

If you are only coping with relationship break up problems at the surface, there will always be an undercurrent of anxiety and stress. For example you could justify your anger at being betrayed. But that wouldn't heal the pain of the betrayal.

If you deal with your internal fears and incongruence the outer world will change shape automatically. Water will always finds its own level. 

Once you understand the root causes of the fear you may find it impossible to even see those old problems in the same light.

The other thing which creates anxiety and stress is tackling the problem. The desired outcome cannot be stressful therefore it has to be how you are thinking about the problem. How are you thinking about the problem?

There are just two things you can do to reduce anxiety and stress:

Tackle the problem - Or - 

Change the way you are thinking about the problem

If you tackle the problem there and then the stress will change too. But if it isn't possible to tackle it for any particular reason, you have to change the way you thin about it. 

Step 1. Don't make the relationship break up out to be worse than it is. See it specifically as it.

Step 2. Identify coping resources. What help do you need from others? What skills or knowledge do you already possess?

Step 3. Write out a plan of action for coping with relationship break up.

Step 4. Schedule the plan. How long will it take? When can you start? What are the milestones.

Step 5. Take action toward achieving the plan. Focus on smaller steps you need to take, then take them.

Does any of this sound familiar? 

Successful coping strategies to shift your focus and attention

A personal breakthrough can move you through all that junk into love and compassion. It takes all of your internal resources to take you from a place of chaotic confusion to a state of freedom.

It doesn't necessarily mean we can keep you together, but it does mean we help you keep it together! Although, if you are not fully committed to breaking up maybe you should commit to each other fully.

Wouldn’t it be a better strategy for coping with relationship break up to come from a state of freedom? As in, freedom to choose your own emotional response to your relationship break up, rather than the unconscious emotional fear response?

As Stephen Covey put it in Seven Habits of Highly Effective People "Response-Ability" is the ability to increase the gap between stimulus and response. That way you can consciously process the meaning of the stimulus and choose your response in a much more grounded, rational, and effective way.

Successful coping strategies for boosting your confidence

Freedom simply means moving forward congruently, in harmony with your own highest values, and doing what is right. If you can do this, you will be able to preserve more than just your pride and dignity. You will be able to step forward with confidence. You won't be coping with relationship break up, you will be thriving from it.

Work through your personal values and notice where you have been incongruent. When you know and understand your highest values and set goals and actions in alignment with meeting those values your confidence will soar. 

If you stay in reaction mode you will be filled with remorse, guilt or shame. Haven't you had enough to deal with? Isn't it time to give yourself the break you deserve?

In our personal breakthrough life coaching I will take you beyond the principle of stimulus and response. You will learn the power of being at cause or at effect. This is where you will uncover limits beliefs that are not aligned with your success. Beliefs that will keep you locked in a state of coping with your relationship break up. 

For example:

"I could have been successful in my business if she hadn't had an affair." 

"I could have been a great dad to my kids if she hadn't interfered."

Being "at cause" means taking full responsibility for not only your response, but also for your inner thoughts and beliefs. It means taking full responsibility for achieving desired outcomes and not being at the mercy of effect. 

Unlock those limiting beliefs and you will see your confidence and motivation return. You will become inspired to live a better life. The life you deserve. 

Successful coping strategies for manifesting your ideal partner

While you are coping with relationship break up thoughts of moving on may be premature. You may even reconsider preserving your relationship. 

How can you manifest the love of your life when you are filled with self doubt, guilt or shame? 

These thoughts might sound like a stretch for you right now but if we can shift your perceptions, even slightly, you can make a more conscious decision about the next step to take. It's your relationship breakthrough and personal growth at stake, so don't make decisions lightly. 

In the Field of Dreams movie the constant voice was saying "build it and they will come." 

Rebuild your self esteem and the right person will show up. 

Keep in a state of depression and remorse and the right person will show up. 

You always get what you deserve. Imagine if you change your beliefs and recognise your true value is way beyond your current thought patterns. 

You can walk into a room bent with pain, or you can put on your cloak, take your gemstone encrusted walking cane and walk in like the land owner. You will create attention either way.

One of the best ways to recognise when the right person shows up is to write it all down in advance. Every last detail. 

I invite you to do that now. 

My Ideal Partner

How does she look? Describe her in detail from the top of her head down to her toes

How old are they?

How does she smell? What does the scent remind you of. How does that make you feel?

What does she do? Think about those early getting to know you conversations and imagine being captivate as she explains her career, her job, or her mission.

Where did she grow up?

What school or university did they go to?

What things does she really care about?

Successful coping strategies for re-writing your greatest love story

Making a relationship last requires constant and never ending effort. You always want your relationship to be in a state of growth, because if it isn't growing, its dying.  

Sometimes, people might think that the reward of all that work is not worth the effort and that is when relationships break up. If that is a relationship you think you are in, you have to ask yourself if you are really coping with it. Is it really love or is it a sign of looming relationship break up?  

What did it take to make the relationship work?

What did you want your relationship to become?

What have you forgotten about your relationship?

If you truly want it, you can rewrite the story of your life and turn it into the greatest love story ever told.

life coaching for coping with relationship break up 

If you are inspired or comforted by these Life Coaching Strategies For Coping With Relationship Break Up imagine what working with a professional life coach could mean for you. What would be the value of your achieving a personal breakthrough to you? Would you like to find out?

Book Your Free Coaching Consultation Now!

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More than one way of coping with relationship break up

There is plenty more to discover from the Relationship Breakthrough Coach. Here are suggestions to help with coping with relationship break up:

The Emotional Stages Of Breaking Up

Learn about the emotional impact of a relationship break up upon you and your partner. Based on the renowned work of Dr Kubler Ross, we show you how the five stages of grief can manifest and how relationship breakthrough coaching can pull you forward. 

Discover the Eight Keys to Unlock The Power of Vitality

Discover how the power of vitality can transform not only your relationships, but your life! Sounds simple, yet few people prioritise their own health.

How to Break Up

A lighthearted look at coping with relationship break up. When someone says you'll get over it sooner or later, why not make it sooner? Share your story for others to see how you were dumped or how you did the dumping. 

Follow The Relationship Breakthrough Coach 

Relationship Breakthrough Coach provides life coaching for men, women and couples in Mossley, Tameside, Uppermill, Saddleworth, and all surrounding areas. I also work with english speaking international clients via Skype and Zoom.

Life coaching is a journey of self discovery. Your journey starts with your next step. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the next step. The power of life coaching will unlock your personal power to overcome obstacles that show up while you get to work on your dreams.

Where Will Your Next Steps Take You?

I sincerely hope you found what you were looking for.

I am adding new content all the time but if you have any idea's or topics you would like to see, get in touch and let me know.

Click on the image to visit the contact me page:

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