The Power of Metaphors To Help Children Understand
all about change in Relationships

Life coaching is all about change. Changes you need to live the best life, enjoy the most loving committed relationships, and experience epic adventures life has to offer.  

It isn't always the major changes that make the biggest difference. Sometimes the subtlest suggestions, and changes can have a lasting impact. Helping people through change is becoming increasingly important in our rapidly changing environment both in the workplace and at home. 

Sometimes the changes we experience in our lives and particularly our relationships can impact on the children in the relationship too.  

The diminished roles within the family in western culture is a factor in the growth of life coaching. Over half of all marriages now end in divorce. Family roles of the past have become so blurred which has led to a decline in our ability to get the support and sounding boards we need from close and extended family. 

Life coaching has always been a personal development service growing for over half a century. Now coaching is a tool for change available for almost anyone. So why should the kids miss out? 

Thats your job.

The Power of metaphors in life coaching

I have created a mini library of some of my favourite magical teaching metaphors that you can share with you children. If you are going through changes in your relationship situation, you can rest assured that your children will be experiencing the pressure too. Telling stories is a great way to teach them all about change without getting into the details of any rift between you and your partner. But, more importantly, these stories will also be useful for you too! Thats the power of metaphors!

  • The Little Soul in The Sun
  • The Little Boy and the Butterfly 
  • The Crow And The Pitcher
  • The Impact of The Double Arrow
  • Two Men and a Donkey
  • The Man in The Balloon
  • The Farmer and The Fox

The Little Boy and the Butterfly

The metamorphosis of the butterfly symbolises transformation. At the same time, the process of change shows us how struggle is often vital to our evolution.

Sometimes, struggle is vital for you to grow as a person and also as a couple. The struggle helps pull out all of the excesses, and unwanted behaviours in order for your relationship to grow to the next level. 

How does one become a butterfly? You have to want to fly so much that you are no longer willing to be a caterpillar.

The butterfly's breakthrough is a classic tale about how important life struggles are to our own development. The story teaches us that sometimes, tough times are just as important to our personal growth as the moments of sheer ecstasy. The struggle is actually a critical part of our lives. To put it another way, you cant make a diamond without extreme pressure. 


A little boy was playing in his garden and found a caterpillar. He decided to keep it and promised his mother he would take care of it. 


One day the caterpillar climbed up a stick and started acting strangely. His mother explained that the caterpillar was creating a cocoon and was going through it's metamorphosis to become a butterfly. The boy was thrilled and watched every day, eager to see the butterfly emerge. 


When a tiny hole appeared in the cocoon the butterfly began its struggle to break free from it's cocoon.

At first the boy was excited, but the butterfly was struggling so hard to get out. It couldn’t break free! The boy thought the butterfly was stuck so he got some scissors, and made the hole a tiny bit bigger and the butterfly was free! 


Its body was swollen and it's wings were small and shrivelled. The boy watched and watched hoping the butterfly stretch its wings and fly.  But the butterfly could only crawl and very soon died with it's swollen body and shrivelled wings.


It never was able to fly…


The boy was heartbroken. His mother took him to talk to a teacher. The boy learned that the tiny opening of the cocoon was essential to push the fluid out of the butterfly's body and into its wings. The butterfly was supposed to struggle. In fact, without the struggle, the butterfly would never, ever fly.


Nobody enjoys struggle. But without struggle, how would we ever grow? The times of great adversity are when we truly dig deep and tap into resources we never knew we had. Strong winds make strong trees.

The Crow and The Pitcher

It is often the case that all major change may come about from being triggered by a challenging situation or struggle. This is reflected in the story of the the crow and the pitcher.

A thirsty and dangerously dehydrated crow found a narrow pitcher containing some water. The trouble for the bird was that the pitcher was too narrow to climb into and the water level was too low to reach. The crow is desperate to drink and would would die within inches of the remedy. The crow recognised that by picking stones and dropping them into the pitcher it was able to make the water level rise. The water level rose and the crow was able to drink. 

What does this teach us? Necessity is the mother of invention! Many times through ought history we can see that times of great adversity lead to incredible innovation. 

When the human brain is stimulated enough it will automatically search for a new discovery. Seek and ye shall find. 

The greatest love story ever told

How would you tell your own story to your children or your grandchildren? What have been the key, pivotal moments in your life so far? What have been the challenges, the adversity, or the things that have really pushed you against the wall?

How did you overcome them? How did you pick yourself back up from your knees to achieve even greater success in your life. 

What would the greatest love story you ever told be about? 

What will be the pivotal moments for your future?

Life coaching can be a timely reminder that learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all. The number one message from air cabin crew in a safety briefing is "put your own oxygen mask on first" which I truly believe serves as a great metaphor in personal development. 

I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed. - George Carlin

Once you find the new discovery that supports your evolution, you must embed it in your unconscious so that this new discovery becomes the conditioned response. (The gap between stimulus and response enhances your response-ability). 

I recommend the book "Atomic Habits" by James Clear which shows that it isn't making huge change that counts, but the sum of many tiny changes in the right direction. (More Life Coaching Books recommended here!)

What you discover through life coaching could pave the way for your personal metamorphosis. What you do with that discovery is entirely up to you. It's all about change.  You have the leverage to make it happen, maybe you just need the power of a metaphor to expand your thinking.

The alchemy of change

The Alchemist studies change in order to transform lead into gold. Or to transform the still, dry desert into a raging sandstorm to fend off the warring tribesmen. (The Alchemist: Paulo Coelho).

In order to change something, you have to study it in it's current form, understand what influences it, and picture it as it could be or how you want it to be. There is no point standing staring at a map if you don't know where you are to begin with.

The sculptor see's the final piece, not the rock. They see the potential hidden to the common eye. It's still all about change, from one thing to another. From one belief system to another. 

That's how the life coach see's the client. You work out where you are now. You envision the kind of person you want to be. The coach sees your potential. 

It's not only what the client adds through coaching, but what they eliminate. The coaching process is like fine tuning, rubbing down, polishing, transforming a piece of marble to a masterpiece. (Marble is a metamorphosis of limestone. One thing transformed and improved by pressure into something else. See Wikipedia for more about marble)

Are there any small changes you could develop to eliminate toxicity from your life? Its the small changes, small steps, or the Atomic Habits, that make the biggest difference. In fact, chemistry teaches us that if you change the structure of a molecule you change the whole compound.

What would you change about yourself now if you knew you could?

  • Confidence
  • Anger
  • Decisions
  • Limiting beliefs
  • Values
  • Phobias
  • Habits
  • Fears
  • Emotions
  • Skill

Take just one small step in a new direction for a huge change in destination

Wether it's a mechanical breakthrough, spiritual, scientific, medical, engineering or even a breakthrough in an organisation one small change can make a huge difference. Things will never be the same again. 

Is it just one small step, or is it a giant leap? Just think about all the changes that have been accepted as a result of a world wide pandemic. It started with small steps. Just to flatten a curve. Just keep your distance. Just cover your nose.  

Many small steps are often more effective than a giant leap. Do you think it would have been easy to inform the public that the world would would shut down for around eighteen months and you won't be able to travel or mingle with anyone? Do you think would have been as easy to accept? I doubt it. 

You are no different. If you try to achieve a huge transformation overnight it might be possible but you will experience massive internal resistance and it will likely feel uncomfortable. Thats where life coaching can help you create not only the visions but also the strategies for making them a reality. Remember, life coaching is all about change you want to have happen.

Think about life coaching for change!

That's all about change for now, but your journey, your adventure in personal development need not end here. Just follow the "Next Steps" and discover how life coaching could be the answer you are looking for.


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Hope you found your visit to the Relationship Breakthrough Coach of value today. Did you find what you are looking for?

I am adding new content all the time but if you have any idea's or topics you would really love to see here, get in touch and let me know.

In the meantime here are more great pages dedicated to transforming your relationship breakdown or break up into a breakthrough. 

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