Turning your break ups and breakdowns into breakthroughs!
Have you experienced loving kindness from another human being in your life?
Random acts of kindness can blow you away, and put you in a completely different emotional state.
In this page you will discover two ways to cultivate a that emotional caring state in yourself, and in others.
Imagine what it would be like to sit and ponder with a serene clarity of thought that could transport you peacefully through the wildest relationship storm. There will be storms, just as there will be glorious long summer days.
Many traditions speak strongly of the joy's of simply letting go and going in to a deep, relaxing meditative state. There are several recognised health benefits too. Clarity, stress relief, increased levels of concentration and so on.
Whoever you are, whatever your beliefs, there is a benefit to you to cultivate kindness in yourself and others.
Meditating for the first time can feel a little strange, but really you are doing nothing, because there is nothing to do. Your mind may tell you otherwise, and so the guide of this meditation is to focus on each stage of the process in sequence.
Find a safe space for you to relax where you won't be disturbed.
Either sit on a straight backed chair, or cushions on the floor, wherever you can be most comfortable during your meditation. You don't have to be in the lotus position or able to put your ankles behind your head! Just find somewhere comfortable.
Switch off the phone. Switch off the TV. Light a candle if you prefer and even some incense that lifts your spirits high.
Simply observe your breath. In through the nose and out through the mouth. A few repetitions of deep breathing can have immense positive impact on your mind and body. The additional oxygen you send through your bloodstream is just one of the positive side effects, before you go deeper into this meditation. Take between three to five minutes to settle your thoughts.
Think for one moment. What are the simple things you desire most in life?
Health, wealth, freedom, free from pain, free from suffering, happiness, peace of mind, love?
How about success in work, success in sport, a loving relationship, or peace of mind?
Internally, state those things you desire most. Ask your higher self, or your God, or your creator, whichever has most meaning to you, "May I be healthy", "may I be strong", "may I be free from suffering", "may I be wealthy", "may I have peace of mind".
Repeat this internal dialogue for around four or five minutes. The most simple things in life can transform us most. Repeat the thought and associate with the phrase as if it these are your highest intention.
As you wish for these things of yourself, wish them on a person you care about. Bring that person to mind remember them. Bless them as you internally continue to recite, "As I wish for....may (Use Their Name) also have love", "health" "wealth" "happiness" etc.
Repeat this internal dialogue for around four or five minutes whilst focusing on your friend or loved one.
As you wish for these things of yourself, wish them on a person who has a neutral impact upon you. Bring that person to mind as you internally continue to recite, "As I wish for....may this person also have...."
Repeat this internal dialogue for around four or five minutes whilst focusing on someone neutral.
As you wish for these things of yourself, wish them on a person who has upset or challenged you in some way. Someone who you perhaps do not like. Bring that person to mind as you internally continue to recite, "As I wish for....may this person also have...."
This stage is often the most challenging, and also most liberating. See the person as an extension of your self. Expressing loving kindness toward them is developing a strong sense of compassion in yourself.
Repeat this internal dialogue for around four or five minutes whilst focusing on the person. Begin to see them in a different light as you wish them peace, love, and happiness.
You can end the meditation here or if you chose, you can expand your thoughts of kindness to other people around you, in the house, the street, your organisation, the town, the city, the country, the world. As you choose.
The whole meditation can be completed in as little as 25 minutes, or more if you wish to spend longer on developing loving kindness and compassion for each person.
Whatever blessing you desire most, wish it also upon those people around you. Especially those with whom there may have been some emotional charge. A boss, an employee, a partner, family member, or friend. Your stress will disappear and you will achieve a clarity of thought that can transform those relationships.
You don't have to visit any Temple, Church, Synagogue or Mosque to develop loving kindness. You don't even have to practice this meditation. This is something you can cultivate in your everyday life, in your home, or in your work for example.
You may discover a good cross section of people taking in some form of meditation practice. A business owner, an employee from major corporation, a housewife, students. Like you, they have a curiosity and desire to find ways to more loving relationships with their partners, families, friends, colleagues, and people they have crossed. They also share a desire to cultivate loving kindness.
We would like to set you a challenge to cultivate loving kindness in your environment through the philosophy of Pay It Forward.
This is a simple yet profound concept involves random acts of kindness. We love sharing stories of how acts of loving kindness can transform someones day.
a) Someone does you a favour. You feel you owe them. Its the "law of reciprocity."
What if, instead of owing them, you owed the human race. You don't pay them back, you pay it forward.
b) You do someone else a favour? They feel they owe you. That's the same law. They say "thank you, how can I repay you?" You tell them about the concept of pay it forward. The law of reciprocity now means they have to complete an act of loving kindness to repay their emotional debt.
Do you want to discover more?
Practice developing a Relationship With Loving Kindness
Return to Our Centre For Loving Relationships
Get deeper into relationships with Our Relationship Coaching Centre
Discover more about relationships at the Relationship Breakthrough Coach home page.
If you would like to know more about this practice contact us and arrange an introductory consultation.
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